My 30 Day Online Dating Science Experiment

30 day statistics:
Email sent: 34, Received: 37
(unsolicited: 14, replies: 23 - includes ongoing messages [re: re: re: re:]),
viewed me: 107(!), favorites: 18, favorited me: 1.

Number of people to spot the subliminal message behind the Avatar/username "Maverage": 1. Not that it's all THAT non-conformist to post daily 'blog-like' posts in place of the 'profile'... but I haven't seen many people do it this way. Number of hits to SeeMoreFilms' profile during May: Zero. Interesting, since both profiles were written by and about the same person..

People following these almost-daily posts (rants?): unknown. I *WILL* keep the profile active, although I don't promise to post every day beyond this point. I've finally put my finger on what bugs me the most about these 'online dating sites' and the 'profiles' created to try to tell enough about yourself in a paragraph or two so that someone can decide whether or not they want to *meet* you: I'm not a used car, or 'previously owned' item on eBay or CraigsList. Yet, I feel like these profiles are 'sales brochures'. It's all too impersonal, and in my view disrespectful on BOTH sides of the equation: On one side - the requirement to 'hawk my wares', and on the other side the requirement to make the 'buy/no-buy' ("should I contact him, or block him?") decision.

I would still rather meet new people in-person, and in a social setting. I would ALWAYS rather DO something I would be doing anyway regardless of the potential to 'date'. If introduced by someone who already knows me, then so much the better.

But now I'm more open to the possibility of each introduction, chat, and aside comment as a way to 'open the conversation'. I like to say, "I don't believe in strangers. Strangers are Friends I haven't yet had the opportunity to get to know".

So I'll probably spend more time looking for MeetupDotCom events to attend (First Tuesday in Bellevue, First Thursday museum night in Seattle, etc).

To all who've wished me well, I return the sentiments. To those who've gotten 'ticked off' at something I've said, the 'slight' was unintentional, I'm sure. To those who feel more empowered to continue to pursue their LIFE AS A SINGLE PERSON, and think of meeting 'That Right Someone' as a secondary thing (if at all), I say: More Power To You.

All The Best!

DAY 30 - part 2...

Little League baseball playoffs are underway, and both my sons' teams WON their first games! Woo Hoo!!! So they both advance to the 2nd round playoff game tomorrow... at conflicting times... at different ends of Bellevue... oh joy.

Well, the house is OFF the market, and the rather permenant looking 'Offered' sign (it didn't say 'For Sale') has been uprooted, and hauled away. So, of course, the phone calls from Realtors who want to re-list the house have begun. My question for them is: Why should I trust you to try to sell my house NOW when you didn't bring in a buyer - not even one with a low-ball offer - in the over 8 months the house was for sale? Has the home buyers market changed overnight?

And as if it wasn't allergy season before, it certainly is now... whatever tree-sex, or plant-sex, or grass-sex (i.e. pollen) that makes my eyes water, swell, and turn red is out in full-force.

Dating? Can't think about it right now. Have gotten a great offer from someone who wants to speak on 'Money Matters for Single People' at the Mercer Island group on the 3rd Sunday in June. Sounds good - people don't generally talk about money matters with their co-workers, or family, so why not with a bunch of strangers! After being on POF for 30 days... this idea actually makes sense. Using interpersonal communications to help other people, and get them together through "Social Networking" (which is what this is... yes, I know).

More tomorrow? Maybe I'll wrap up the month of on-line dating with a pithy entry after the Weekend Of Baseball Day 2...

DAY 30 - part 1...

Going well: I managed to post almost daily, even if some daily posts were trivial, and not worth the time to read. I 'grazed' many of the profiles of Seattle area women here - most between the ages of 35-55. Only met (in person) one person from here who I hadn't met elsewhere in some other forum (i.e. I still tended to meet people 'socially' more often than 'online').

Needs improvement: unsure... either my attitude toward online dating, or the level of response received. After an initial flurry of responses, the mails now are down to a trickle (less than 1 a week). There's one message in my inbox that I've been wanting to respond to, but want to craft a well thought out response... so I won't shoot off my mouth.

Impediments: "Shooting my mouth off". Yes, I've been up-front, and spoke my mind about a lot of things - perhaps too many things. I'm sure that's limited the emails I've received, and I'm okay with that. I would rather be true to (and honest with) myself than have to keep track of a bunch of half-truths, and exaggerations. The good weather. Yes, I blame it on the weather. The type of person I'm most likely to enjoy meeting would be a sensible person, and wouldn't BE online while it's sunny and warm. Instead, she's probably out there enjoying herself biking, or walking a dog; hiking, or having a laugh with friends while pretending to be interested in whatever participatory 'event of the day' is going on. And I'm convinced I should be doing likewise.

A profile I read this morning made me think of Roy Hinkley - perhaps the smartest person on the planet 45 years ago, he found himself inextricably stranded in a south pacific paradise with six other people. With his knowledge, he could repair a radio, build a telephone, invent a Geiger counter out of bamboo and foil, and recharge lead-acid batteries using only coconuts and salt water. Yet, he was unable to find a way to build a boat? HA! That's a good one. He clearly didn't WANT to leave the island. And why should he when he was the only eligible man on the island? But who should he choose... the Kansas farm girl? Beautiful, but naive. Charming, and a great cook, and with a navel that was so provocative, she always tried to wear shorts pulled high... or halter top pulled low... to cover it from view. OR... the glamorous movie star - with her shimmering evening dress, fiery red hair, and legs that went all-the-way-up. How could anyone choose? But what most people didn't realise, is there were THREE women on the island. Ginger, Maryanne, and Mrs. Howell! Suave, sophisticated, yet a little ditsy and uncoached in the ways of a 'simple life'. Who better to 'coach' the sophisticated lady than the Professor?

Nope, I'm convinced his diary would have read something like: "Day 495 - Ah, what a paradise. I noted 5 species of tropical parrots today, and the temperature is a balmy 80-degrees... in March! I can't help but smile when I'm asked to repair the radio, and build a pedal car out of bamboo and palm fronds, but not asked to build a boat! But why would I want to leave this place? Ooops... gotta go... Here comes Maryanne and Ginger!"

DAY 29 - 1 day left...

Today I went to lunch with an old friend in the Union Station plaza. She's reading these posts, and thinks I'm crazy for sticking with it so long, but I just have to finish what I started. When the conversation came around to "does online dating work for you?", the answer was an emphatic "No".

Here's someone I've known for a couple of years, and who's opinion I trust. Like me, she finds she meets new and interesting people more readily when she's doing something she enjoys doing, and focuses on doing interesting things rather than obsessing over "trying to meet someone". I find I'm the same way. Does it bother me that I might say something to turn-off potential dates here by saying things like, "No Harley's", and that pictures with children give me the shivers... Honestly, when you put a picture "out there" on the internet, you never know where it will end up. I (for one) will *never* put pictures of my children up here. And for potential dates, you're not likely to even meet my children unless, and until, we've been dating for a good while. I don't want to put more 'people churn' into their lives than they already experience.

The Opinions I've received so far are 80% Leave the online dating scene, and 20% stick with it. We'll see if anything changes this weekend. Plus, I've got an extra day in the month to think it over...

DAY 28 - 2 days left.

With some deep regret, I just signed the paperwork to pull my 'for sale' home off the market. Whether the problem was the price point, or the saturation of available homes for sale, I may never know. But I'll keep it off the market for a while, and hope the housing situation continues to improve.

The weather has been SO NICE... have we gotten our 12-day-quota of sunny days? ;?> Not to my way of thinking. Mt. Rainer was stunningly white against the stark blue sky this afternoon - not nearly as hazy as yesterday.

Oh, almost forgot... I caught a glimpse of CNN's coverage of the debate between James Carville and Karl Rove. What a riot!! I highly recommend catching that on YouTube. Jim was as in-your-face as ever, and made apologies for only 8 minutes of the Clinton administration. (my favorite quote of the night).

DAY 27:

Didn't have much to say today. The boys and I had a great 'boys night out', swung by the library, and made it home while there was lingering twilight. I pondered making an update here, but thought better of it. The 30-day mark is fast approaching, and I'm debating whether I should drop off, and call it quits, or... to continue for another 30 days.

Opinions?

DAY 26: only 4 left...

Today, I clicked the 'Chemistry' thing again, and found someone who's a 100% match! What does that MEAN anyway?! I've been thinking all day about the term 'online dating' and what an oxymoron it really is. Online - sitting at a computer screen, reading something someone else has written through the lens of your own experiences. Dating - going OUT with someone to get to know them better. Usually it means *in person*... so when you put the two together... NO WONDER it's such a strange, bizarre, most unreal experience.

What else do I want in a partner-in-crime? Someone who likes themselves. Someone who LIVES for themselves, and doesn't live vicariously through their children. Someone who doesn't have to look up vicariously. Someone who is willing to pick up that copy of "The Automatic Millionaire" that the single guy left on the bus because he'd finished it, and read it, then leave it on another bus for someone else to take to heart (or laugh at, and discard on a bus). ;?>

Tonight, I stopped by Tony's fruit stand, and picked up some fresh corn, and avocados. The corn went on the Weber, and made a great supper. The avocados - a funny word for a fruit that makes a great chip-dip... look up THAT one, and see if you don't laugh - are for guac... natch. But that will wait for tomorrow night. No more 'viewed me' clicks tonight. No more clicks or cliques or kilometers for that matter. Unwatched Netflix's (what *IS* the plural of Netflix... NetFlixes??) beckon. Time to spend less time with the online oxy-dating moron.

Day Twenty-Five: 5 to go...

SOOoooo... What am I looking for in a woman? What am I NOT looking for... two parts of the same question. I'm looking for someone who's smaller than me - (me: 5'9", 190 lbs, average build who's trying to tone up a bit). Whoever it is, I won't feel compelled to 'change' anything about her, but instead revel in our differences. Someone who has a serious life / career, yet is willing to literally let her hair down, and relax / have fun. Someone willing to be spontaneous, and try new things, whether it be a restaurant, dancing, an unexpected hike/walk, or something more intimate. Someone who doesn't have a lot of hangups about sex - as a divorced adult, I really enjoyed having an active sex life, and when my former partner closed that off with the statement, "You're not really still interested in sex at our age, are you?" I knew the marriage was over, but didn't want to admit it for the kids' sake.

Feeling the warm breezes, the smell of the roses - makes me want to plant yellow rose bushes - the beat of the music... it evokes a very pleasant all encompassing calm. I can forget the job that doesn't pay enough, and takes up too many hours, or the house that's been for sale for 8 months with no offers (and comes off the market Tuesday). I think about being with someone who is able / willing to (for example) wear a bikini, though not necessarily willing to have her picture taken in it. Someone willing to try new dance steps, and not worry about looking awkward doing so. Someone ready to try samples of different things - organic chocolate, Someone who will be supportive of my solitary writing life - scripts don't write themselves. Someone independent, but willing to be "Independent... Together."

I know... too much to ask. I feel like I'm right back to the physicist's theory... of the 3.5 Million people in the Seattle Metro area, there are probably as many as Zero people who would be a match for me... well... statistically, anyway. And as Benjamin Disraeli said, "There are three kinds of lies: Lies, Damned Lies, and Statistics".

DAY 24: six days remaining

I just haven't felt like doing anything here today. After lunch yesterday, I didn't go back to Folklife - came back home instead, and mowed the laundry. I watched a Sheryl Lee movie called "Bliss" - it was pretty awful. The film tried to explore a woman trying to deal with child sexual abuse in her past, and getting help from her husband using tantric sex techniques. It was a muddled mess, but the performances by Sheryl Lee, and Terrence Stamp were exemplary.

Later, I went on POF, and was really disappointed by the number of people who were on-line. So much so, that I logged off, and flipped through the channels on TV... something I almost never do.

Today, I went to the dog walk meetup event in Redmond today. Both Kayla and Buddy were on their best behavior. I hadn't been to Marymoor's dogpark since before they started charging $1 for parking. It was impossible to keep Buddy out of the water - he was retrieving "labradors"... funny how much they look like tennis balls. But everything looks like a tennis ball to Buddy. Squirrel? A tennis ball with a fluffy tail. Raccoon? A BIG tennis ball with a ringed tail. You get the idea.

After the dog park, I went back to Folklife to people watch. Thousands of people, food, music, etc. It was... okay. A bit like the Bite of Seattle, but with less food. And like a bluegrass version of Bumbershoot. Back when I was in radio, I tried to avoid country... and western. There was an Irish trio playing a guitar, a violin, and a bag-pipe-like thing that he pumped with his armpits.

Tomorrow, I'll probably make my way down there again after mowing the rest of the lawn... ;?>

DAY 23: 1 week remains.

Persistence is the best advice I can give people. I've been ready to give up at least twice, but have knuckled down, and stuck with it. Today, I'm having lunch with a lovely friend met here on POF - the first time I've had a lunch date with someone I didn't meet in-person before finding them here. But she already knows a lot about me, and is *still* interested in meeting. After lunch, I may wander back to Folklife... yes, it was THAT cool.

DAY TWENTY-TWO: 8 days to go...

After moving day at work, had an AMAZING evening with a friend at Seattle Center wandering around at Folklife. The weather was perfect - made to order for a weekend festival. We tried swing dancing, watched flaminco, and tap dancers, listened to an amazing guitarist, and sampled organic chocolate laced with lavender. Afterward, a walk through the SAM sculpture garden near sunset made the evening complete.

DAY TWENTY-ONE:

Walked to lunch at Whole Food Markets today - my director friend Jason loves that place. Anywhere else I try to have lunch with him, and he says "I can't eat that crap". His two rules - no wheat, no dairy - were formidable rules to avoid when trying to feed a cast & crew, but we worked it out, and everyone ended up eating healthier. P.F. Chang's has a gluten-free menu... other places? hmmm...

This evening, had a wonderful home cooked dinner with friends near Greenlake - first home cooked meal this year? Maybe... We walked their dogs to the lake, and stopped at Ben & Jerry's for dessert at sunset. A great end to a beautiful day. I'm LOVING the sunshine.

DAY TWENTY EVAL: 10 days to go!

Going well: Sending email(32), being viewed (87), mail received (29). To improve: viewing profiles (>150), marking favorites (20). Impediments: fatique. Between 'viewed by', 'Favorites', and emails sent/received, I've carefully checked out over 107 different women. It's hard to keep track of who I'd like to really connect with. For example... one person said she is very intelligent - IQ=125, and wants someone equally smart IQ between 115 and 135. [Why so low? That's within one standard deviation of average(100)]. I don't like it when women try to play the 'dumb blonde' when there's clearly more going on behind the eyes than the hair color would imply. I find that disrespectful of my intelligence, and I will not be disrespectful in return - I Don't "Play Dumb" - it's not me. And if I can't be myself, who would I be?! ;?>

I've been on two first dates, two second dates (1 the first date was before May 1st), and met-up with the other 1st date at the mixer in Everette. I've been to singles events - especially liked the one on a Sunday evening on Mercer Island - no pressure there, and met several interesting women - even one who lives on the island.

So what now... the follow thru - ask favorites to lunch, coffee, dinner. Perhaps I should upload a new photo? I wore a suit to work the other day, and thought that would make a good photo.

When I started this, I admit I was 'cynical', and 'rude toward' online dating - but I've "put those hats in the closet", and started writing about who's really out there, and my thoughts as I delved into this deeper. Yes, there's still TMI here - but the veracity is high, even if the MAverage moniker is, perhaps, a modest understatement.

DAY NINETEEN - 11 days remaining:

It's HAILING outside! The sky is dark, the air is cold, and my dog and I are curled up on the couch ready to watch a Criterion DVD from the library. It's a good night to stay indoors... but even before I could save, the hail has stopped. Wow! It looked like an ice machine gone berserk a few minutes ago, and now it's just ominously dark and cold. Brrrr... Welcome to late spring Seattle style.

So why am I constantly thinking about how little it would cost to fly to Cabo or Puerto Vallarta?

DAYS EIGHTEEN - 12 days to go:

After a full day at work, I had hoped to come home, do a search, and try to email either someone new, or someone from the 'favorites' list. But the more I read, the more I think how unlikely it is to find someone in this sea. For one thing, I would rather spend my time alone than to burn time with the wrong person. The women I've met at singles events have been interesting, attractive, and clearly active. Maybe it's that I don't know exactly who I'm looking for, only that I'll know them when I meet them... Put that way... I guess I just talked myself into sticking with this...

DAYS SIXTEEN & SEVENTEEN:

Yesterday was a grueling day of baseball games, and a walk-a-thon fundraiser for Aiden. From 8-5, we were on the run in and around Bellevue. By the time we got back to Seattle, we were all exhausted. Endless Pasta Bowl, and "The Avengers" animated movie to round out the evening.

Today, we took it easy, only venturing out for baseball practice in the afternoon. Once the boys were back with their mother, a Meetup event on Mercer Island - around 20 people were there for a non-bar-scene mixer. (AAAAhhhhh!!!) A nice Yellow Tail chardonnay, some finger foods, and a great 50/50 male female mix made the night a great success.

DAY FIFTEEN - Halfway...

I've read that the popular music when we're 18 years old becomes the 'music of our lives'. I'm not completely convinced, but I really like most 80's vintage music. When I was a DJ at WABB-FM, with Leslie, the HoundDawg, and all the rest, we thought Paul Young was saying... 'Everytime you go away, you take a piece of CHEESE with you'. How cheesy. Or Billie Jean... 'but the CHAIR is not my son'.

And it's interesting to me how attracted I still am to people 3 years (or so) younger than I.

Oh, Tara... oh, oh.
You squeeze my heart, and then you let it go...

DAY 14: 16 to go.

I was invited to the Tap House mixer in Seattle tonight. There were around 100 singles there from all over Seattle and the Eastside, with pool tables, and free appetizers. 160 beers on tap(!) - great if you're into beer. I can take it or leave it, and tonight I was still feeling too healthy from working out. Tried 'Pepsi Natural' - normal sugar (no corn syrup). It was okay for a change, but not something I would pick up regularly.

Words, snarky, ironic, funny, sardonic, ROFL, and hopelessly, seriously, Caribbean cruise, candlelight, silk tie and tails romantic. Words mean a lot, so I read everything, and try to read the intent with the words. Yes, I like "Sleepless In Seattle", as well as "Groundhog Day". Loved the books The DaVinci Code, and Angels & Demons, but I'm sure the movie won't do the book justice (again).

Looking forward to a weekend with my sons. Hopefully the weather will cooperate.

LUCKY THIRTEEN:

At an all-day off-site training session today. Had to pick up one of my sons from his school with a sore throat, and a no-tolerance policy. I made sure to 'snort laugh' at the nurse, and make pig-like noises. I don't think she has much of a sense of humor. The evening was spent in the rain at the school carnival. If it were a movie plot, it would be described as: Lord of the Flies meets Waterworld. Yes, even the sick son attended. Good thing I have a huge... umbrella. And waterproof snow boots. I still can't THINK about on-line dating. Numb. Brain. Overloaded. [reboot] Three new Netflix in the mailbox, a new bottle of Malbec, and a bag of popcorn are all beckoning on this rainy, rainy evening.

DAY TWELVE:

Took it easy yesterday, and watched "La Vie En Rose" on NetFlix. Sat with a heating pad on my back all evening after having all the muscles in my lower back become as uptight as "a church lady at a nude beach". Aleve, and heat alternating with cold have done the trick. I'd still like to start Salsa lessons, but I want to take it slowly - lots of stretching. I'll start that next week.

In the meantime, I've been re-evaluating on-line dating - trying to answer "Why am I doing this?" I think the best answer I've come up with is I'm seeking an attractive woman who fits within my desires and brings something special to the table.

And I want to be respectful of people's time and energy. I only want to contact women that fit my criteria because I don't want to waste time chatting with women who aren't a long-term fit. My focus is quality over quantity.

TMI? Someone from work spotted me here, and now they ALL know. Even my BOSS saw this. He said, "Dude - Too Much Information. You're bound to say one dumb thing and drive a potential date away." I thought about this, and said, "Cool!"

The words are the most important part, and if I 'say' something that would drive someone away, it would be better to find that out up front.

The Shark Club mixer was well attended - over 50 people(!). BikerDiva's birthday bash - she was in great form, as always. Saw Wendita, eyes of blue, hair of fiery red, looking healthy as ever. I'm not sure she recognized me without the mustache & goatee... There was only 1 bartender, and he was swamped. By the time I got something to eat (nearby burger place), and got back, it was "a night".

DAY ELEVEN: 19 to go...

Yesterday: Called my Mom, watched parts of the 3 Netflix discs from the week. Mowed the laundry... uh... lawn. I wore a suit (Friday) for the first time in a while, and will probably take a new photo in 'work attire'. Replied to Tara on "why does POF ask if you have a CAR?" Shouldn't they ask if you're a DOG or CAT (or OTHER) person? I'm a DOG person - and posted a picture of my dog.

Tuesday, RSVP'd for the Shark Club (Kirkland) mixer/happy hour event. While I might not like bars, I'm forcing myself to 'get out there'.

DAY TEN: 20 Remaining...

Ten Day Eval - Going well: Sending email(25), viewing profiles(>100?), being 'viewed'(62), and marking 'favorites'(19). To Improve: mail received(18);[ unsolicited(7) replies(9) (2:3 received/sent ratio)]. Impediments: hard to find someone you've viewed/liked if you don't save them as 'favorite'. I'm where I usually end up with on-line dating: putting a lot of energy/time into really trying, only to feel it's wasted effort after just a week and a half.

Okay, in deference to Mother's day, I'll follow one of those sayings I normally ignore ("If you can't say anything nice...") Last night's mixer was... in a good venue. There. But it was too far away. Why can't there be more mixers in Seattle/Bellevue with pool tables, darts, video, karaoke, etc.? Julian's perhaps... And the 'bar scene' - even with nametags and liquid social-lubricants (i.e. alcohol)... it's still essentially a bar. Not my favorite choice for a Saturday night. I spoke with one woman there, whom I'd happily met before. Her friend TONI ditched her, hence she's mentioned by name. And I was looking forward to meeting her - I'd heard so much... oh, all good, natch.

As for POF today... please forgive - the maternal holiday, you know. Celebrate the women in YOUR life. Get out and enjoy the sunshine, will ya! ;?>

DAY NINE (early) - 21 to go.

The film projects are mostly on hiatus looking for funding, so I've been researching, and doing feasibility of other entrepreneurial ventures. The Twitter based on-line dating site idea is one I don't think would go anywhere. The home/apt rental website review idea is still in-progress.

Everytime I hear discussions about how badly GM and Ford are doing, it makes me crazy. If I could put together the right people, with the right money, we'd buy Saturn on the auction block, re-open the Tennessee factory, and build cars on-demand from website orders. We'd work with BYD in China to do our hybrid, and all-electric drive trains, and offer three of each vehicle: Gas, Hybrid, and EV. You'd pick the drivetrain, add the body, interior, and as you did so, stats on 'your car' would be built on-screen (MPG, weight, range, etc). We'd build some of each car type, and ship to dealerships, those cars would go to customers until their "custom car" could be delivered.

Inventory would be a concern, sure... but we'd take the smarts we've developed in internet software companies, and apply the 'bit' ideas to 'bolts' in cars. Perhaps we'd partner with Amazon... hmmm...

I'll have to think it through on the drive to Everett this afternoon - Razzal's monthly singles mixer 4pm onward... see ya there!

DaY eIgHt-point-2:

And I see why people become... what's the word I'm looking for... saturated? Burned out? Numbed by the sheer numbers of people, and trying to make connections with them... Yes, the new contacts have dried up to a nothing. I'm not sure anyone is even reading. Am I giving TMI?

I heard a story on This American Life around Valentine's day (VD) that was EXTREMELY pessimistic about the chances for ANYONE to find someone as a love interest / life-partner. Physicists (fellow Mensan's) applied the same mathematical formulas used to find planets in far away solar systems to their love lives. I applied the same technique to myself, and came up with 5-50 possible matches out of 3.5 million. When I mentioned it to others who could help double-check my math, they told me I was being WAAAY to picky. I guess they're right. We'll see. I still prefer to meet people in person - although I don't really like the 'bar scene'.

DAY EIGHT:

First date etiquette - when do you call the person back when you've had a good time? That night? (too desperate...) The next day? (too soon?) Wait two days? (that was the old-school rule. But does it apply when you met someone on the Internet in Internet-time?!)

I don't know what the 'rule' is, and I don't really care. I went with my own comfort zone, and called back today during lunch. Checked in, said that I had a great time, and that I looked forward to bumping into her at the mixer Saturday in Everett at Razzal's (4pm until).

Tonight? Scratched my dog, and went to see the new Star Trek movie. The Astica Malbec will have to wait. What did I think of the Trek movie? I'm predicting [sarcasm] There Will Be "Sequels". They're so Original... all these Sequels. I can't wait for Terminator vs. Batman. [/sarcasm]

DAY SEVEN (more)

Just got back from my first date in over a year! Woo Hoo! It was good to get out, and chat, and just be with someone on a weeknight. Okay, so she was extremely shy, and there was nothing physical - not even holding hands, but we had a great evening, chatted for at least 3 hours, and it seemed to go by in a flash.

Yes, we made contact HERE, but to be honest, I spotted her picture here, and emailed because we'd met at an activity last month. I wish I'd planned a better place to eat, but I hadn't been there in 2 years, and it's obviously changed management. We should have gone to this little Greek restaurant she recommended... I've never eaten Greek food - but I'm open to trying new experiences, and exploring.

DAY SIX & SEVEN: 23 days left...

Yesterday, as predicted, life interceded. Confessions - my promise to my friends (here) falls second to my commitment to my sons. We spent an enjoyable evening together last night at the Chinese buffet, and did some general clowning around.

I've been scratching my head wondering why people don't 'put themselves out there' more, and open up to the possibility of meeting someone new. (or just opening up) Is it about TRUST? DUH!!! Who can trust anyone these days... I know... I know... Still, If I walked out on a limb, and saw someone on a nearby crumbling ledge, would I offer a hand, and say, "I got ya'"? Probably. But only if I see that spark of "I'm going to be okay, and don't need any help thank-you-very-much", as a stiletto slips off, and tumbles into the void...

Trust... the question I work on is: Do I trust women? After a divorce, and all that entail$, and still being on good terms with the boys' mother for everyone's sake, do I trust women? Hell no. But trust is something that comes over time.

And I'm open to exploring trust... THAT may be why I'm here.

DAY FIVE.3

Today, I found out my 'big boss' is 10 years younger than me. It was in the mini-gym at the office, and five other people there didn't believe me when I told them my age. They all had me pegged for mid-thirties. I couldn't make stuff like that up. But I'd rather admit to being 47 and have people think I'm younger (because I *AM* at the core) than lying about it, and lose all credibility.

Tomorrow is shaping up to be a busy one, so I might have to take a rain check here, unless there's something compelling to respond to in the ol' inbox... ;?>

DAY FIVE.2

WOW! There were at least 80 people at the wine tasting - good to see THAT MANY PEOPLE out and about. I connected with BikerDiva as she was being interviewed for KIRO radio. Also met Fabulous Theresa from the article in the SeaTimes - she looked a little overwhelmed at the turnout. The most impressive woman I met was Ms.Retro, an event planner originally from Sacramento - tre' chic. She was with two other women - Ms.Hyphen of MillionAireSinglesSitedotcom, and someone else who was too engrossed in a conversation to get a refill. And of course Joy from Salud! acting as host, and oenophile chef life coach... something... cook? This was the 'get through the crowd' dance. Not as fun as swing, but the people were great for the most part.

DAY FIVE-point-one: 25 to go.

Five Day Eval - What's Going well: Sending emails(15), viewing new people(>50?), being 'viewed' in response(33), and marking 'favorites' to contact later(15). Needs Improvement: mail received (8);[unsolicited(6) replies (2) (1:7 ratio)]. Impediments: with a 1-to-7 email response ratio, I see why so many people 'start' trying on-line dating, and give up after a week or two. Come on folks - at least reply and say, "Thank you, but I'm not interested." (and I'll do the same)

I tried taking a dance class at Century Ballroom last year. It didn't fit into my schedule then, but that first class was amazing - I danced with 40 different women, most of whom were in their 20's (way below my pseudo 'no younger than 30-ish' idea) but they were all active & fit. Tonight, it's wine $1 glass tasting at Whole Foods in Bellevue after 5:30 - 21 people signed up. More later.

DAY FOUR:

Woo Hoo!! I've been marked as a FAVORITE!!! (You ROCK! Thanks!)
I admit to probably not using this site correctly, but the profile's I've looked at that for people I want to contact - to write a personal note - the only way I've found to keep track of those I'd like to know more about is to mark them as 'favorites'. Am I doing this right? Most of them are >90% on the... I know... Chemistry... thing. I'm cutting myself some slack here - how else can a one woman man get a more complete picture of the potential for new friends here. And then... I found the 'people you will think are hot' link.

Who is that feature written for anyway? The "Players", no doubt. Okay, okay - so we ALL rely on how a person looks - I GET that... but the visual is just ONE ASPECT in an infinite number of little details that add up to a good relationship, or not. What if a person looks great, but sounds like Pee Wee Herman?

So I got some emails from women who listed themselves as BBW. I wasn't clear on the acronym - I initially thought it was the "Baseball Writers Association of America", and it turns out I was RIGHT! But it has several possible meanings. The 'online dating' definition is probably not Bath & Body Works, or BroadBand Wireless. Nor 'Big Bad Wolf', 'Brake-By-Wire', or the airport code for 'Broken Bow, Nebraska'. Brass Band World?!! Yep. All valid acronym's.

But in the online dating context it seems to mean "Big Beautiful Women" - and in my mind, images spring to mind of the 'love of life', and the joy of 'living-large' that the big, tall, and beautiful people (at least the one's in *my* life) personify. But there are other definitions: Big Black Women, Beautiful Black Women, or even Big Bisexual Woman. These definitions don't describe what I'm looking for in a potential dating partner, but I wish you luck in the sea here. (cue The Weather Girls)

I used to love to drive across the West Seattle Bridge everyday and see the VW convertible ad that said: Misery Has Enough Company - Dare to Be Happy. That one sentiment captured my muse. Am I the anthropomorphic personification of "Daring To Be Happy"? Maybe not, but I'm trying. SantaCon in December - wandering the streets of downtown from bar to bar with over 200 Santas, Elves, Reindeer, and candy-canes was my idea of a great time. Taking part in the shoe toss at a cardboard standee of our former prez. If I lived near the Hollywood Bowl, I'd probably be in constant trouble from climbing the fence and shouting from the stage (yes, I loved that part of "Yes Man").

And to the yoga instructor today... thanks for kicking my butt, and making me burn through that... whatever that was called. I'm sure I looked like a human pretzel on a mazola twister mat... but the air was free, and so was the pent up tension. Thanks.

DAY THREE - 27 more to go.

I briefly looked at messages this morning, then got out to enjoy the sunshine without looking back.
Oh, and I posted pictures again - by request, and I agreed with the reasoning. Late this evening, the house is (mostly) picked up, and here I am.

I didn't realize people could invite people to Mixers, Parties, and Events here. But now that I received an invite, I'm thinking of sending an invitation of my own for a centrally located mixer group I'm planning to attend on Mercer Island May 17th. hmmm.

The more I experiment with the 'chemistry' thing, the more puzzling it seems. It's as if it ignores my 'search criteria' when choosing who would be most compatible. Often it tries to pair me with women up to 10 years older than me. While I'm open to the idea, in general I'm seeking someone a little younger than me. No cougars - unless it's the WSU fan variety. I'm a Crimson Tide fan, so Cougs, Huskies, etc. are all fine with me. And except for the 'Chemistry' link, I can't find the chemistry % anywhere else when viewing someone's profile. While it may be totally bogus, it's still available somewhere. Again, not that I'm convinced.

Although I got a workout with the kids, and the dogs this weekend, I'm looking forward to getting back to the regular weekly workout routine Monday. TTFN.

DAY TWO - 28 remaining...

Today, I read a couple of interesting emails, and responded to a few new questions. I didn't respond to any of that initial blast of "incoming"... okay, so it was more like 12 emails - but it seemed like 20... it was a little strange / overwhelming. Could it be an automated thing?

Pictures, pictures, pictures. Everyone here is SO VISUAL! And WOW, I've seen some great pictures... For now I'll still email pix privately if that's okay. I thought about putting one of those indistinct photos up, or one where I'm there, but with a group of other people (cast and crew shots, etc) - but it wouldn't be my first choice.

I haven't had time to sit down and write up an entry for today, because frankly I spent the entire day with my sons. "Wolverine" matinee, then shopping, then XBox, and we finished the evening with my special 'endless pasta bowl' (probably not quite like Olive Garden, but close enough for me). We watched "Marley & Me" tonight - a very sad movie, like "Ol Yeller", they should warn a person. Now everyone else is in bed, and I'm beat. I'll crib from myself here, and borrow from an email written this morning (apologies in advance for cribbing from myself) - as to why I'm doing this...

Part of me thinks that "... on-line dating is a crock. Yes, I've tried it before - but I've never stuck with it. I'd much rather meet people In Person, and at things where I'm doing something - like Free First Thursday at the EMP/SFM, or one of the Meetupdotcom events. But I'm 'open' to the idea... are people really what they say they are? That's part of what I'm trying to find out..."

And NO... I don't think comparing the answers on my checklist against the answers from someone else's checklist can really give a good indication about whether people have "Chemistry"... no computer program can predict that - hell, even I can't predict who I'm going to like most of the time. But I'm open to surprises.

And to the question about *MY* integrity... Yes, I was host of the Seattle based TV series "Short Flix" - cable access channel, 2007-8 - I conducted interviews with local independent filmmakers, and we showed their films. Yes, I'm doing a full-time technology job - working in Bellevue, and commuting daily.

So what kind of guy am I? I'm the type of guy who won't let on-line dating take me away from the already limited time I have with my sons. And I'm there for them during the emotional parts of "Marley & Me". Hopefully they won't have to be the guy crouching next to the table bawling his eyes out while his best friend of the past XX years is being 'put down'. But they probably will, so I'll do what I can to prepare them for those things nothing prepares you for. Baseball practice and a birthday "bowling" party tomorrow...

DAY ONE - 29 to go!

Okay, so I'm calling yesterday 'Day Zero' since I setup my on-line dating profile / account (on PlentyOfFish.com), but didn't intend to USE it until today. BUT... I answered more than 100 questions, and then found the 'CHEMISTRY' section, and before I knew it... time passed...

I'm not convinced that a checklist can be used to gauge human-to-human chemistry, but it's interesting to try. I looked at a lot of profiles for people who "match" >90%. The visuals are interesting, but it's the words I take to heart.

Thanks to those of you with encouraging words - I'll keep plugging away. And I'll try to answer some common questions received:

What are my goals in doing this? Hmmmm... I guess I should come up with some of those. It started as just 'keep the promise, and try it for 30 days', but then I had to think about what I'm looking for in a person. The questions I will ask in reply are:
1) How long have you been on here?
2) How do you like your on-line dating experience(s) so far?
3) What are *you* looking for in a guy?
4) (for people with children) Are your children happy?

I've been thinking about what I'm looking for in a relationship with a woman. I'm looking for someone female, straight and single.

No 'open relationships', bisexual, polyamorous, blah, blah. I'm NOT looking for someone who'll I'll fit like a hand in a glove. More like someone to grow to like over time - like a leather biker jacket.

Speaking of time... I'm not hung up on past relationships, but most are far enough behind me that I can see my common mistake - Timing.

When it comes to getting into a relationship with a significant other, either I was ready/looking, and she wasn't, or vice-versa. I trend toward falling head-over-heels for someone (i.e. 'smitten'), and there is no one else in the world I could even THINK about until that relationship is explored. I don't know how much of that is hard-wired into my being... so these days moderation is the watch word.

The questions about what kind of guy *am* I? I'll leave for tomorrow. Briefly: I'm not trying to please everyone. Oh, and I'll email the photo if asked.

Day Zero - 30 Day Journey into Online Dating

I was the host of a local TV interview show covering the local independent filmmaking scene. Back then, I was married, and had been for 17 years.

But after the show was canceled, I found myself divorced... essentially 'Single' again - something I never thought would happen. Yet here I am.

The cast and crew of the show recently met at a local bar to talk over old times, and almost as one they couldn't believe I was un-attached - not actively dating someone. They asked me why I hadn't tried on-line dating, and I expressed how 'skeptical' I am about it.

They convinced me to try on-line dating, and made me PROMISE to give it a SINCERE and CONSISTENT TRY for 30 DAYS. This will be my 'journey into on-line dating'.
For my profile, I wrote:
It says I need four sentences. Are we there yet? Skeptical, but promised my friends I would try online dating for 30 days. So here goes.