June 29:

Do I have a... CAR? Of all the questions you have to answer here, that one seems the least important. I would rather answer "Do you have a pet?" Or... do you ride the bus. In my case it would be yes to all 3. Car, Dog, Bus, Male, Single... Woo Hoo! Online dating BINGO!

This weekend, the boys and I went out to cheer on a friend in the inaugural Seattle Rock & Roll Marathon. They couldn't have asked for better weather. And this after SWELTERING in an 81+degree office building all last week - yes, the new office's roof-top air conditioners were removed to make way for new roofing, and weren't replaced until this past weekend.

Tomorrow, there's a company party at the Garage to celebrate deploying new features on the website. I like the company, but sometimes I wish they'd give us the option of more cash in our paychecks instead of spending 'morale' budget on overpriced bowling shoe rentals.

Oh, and almost forgot - I ran across the abbreviation "DDF" - dependency, and drug free - which describes me. So I'm a DWM DDF NT (no tattoos) TTFN (ta ta for now).

June 24:

Last Saturday, Kayla (my dog) and I went to the Fremont fair, and had a great time. She was a little freaked out by all the people, so when I saw an AMAZING woman who I wanted to walk over to and just say, "Hi, I know you're rushing off to something or other, but I'd really like to meet you..." all I got to see was her red hair poking from beneath a stylish yellow net hat, and the curve of her back as she arced (arc'd?) away into the throng. But hey, it was a very evocative moment, and if it was meant to be, I'll see her again someday.

The solstice parade was SO much fun - over 500 nude cyclists/skaters this year - and their 'costumes' were very witty. I especially liked the 'Evil Kenevil' inspired blue jump-suits... Kayla got a bit antsy at the bands, so we had to leave the parade early. We did manage to speak to two trumpet players from the Rainbow City Band - Seattle's Gay, Lesbian, Bisexual, and Trans-gender friendly band - I told them I'd worked on a documentary about the band in 2007, and knew Scott, the band's founder. They said I should come and play, but I said I wasn't "hip" enough. They said, "there are a lot of allies in the band". "Allies?", I said? "Sure... Straight but not narrow". And so, I guess I *AM* an ally after all.

This month's Singles Connection / Resource Roundtable was a discussion about 'Abundance'. Afterward, my best-friend (married) emailed me asking "Isn't THAT an oxymoron? A 'Singles'... GROUP!? What do you *DO* anyway? Sit around playing cards, drinking beer, and comparing pick-up-lines?"

I explained to him that Single people today (unlike when he got married 20 years ago) have very few social structures around which they can meet other like-minded people. Churches (mostly gray, marrieds), fraternal organizations like the Elks or Masons (gray, and out-dated), and the like... mostly non-existent for modern singles. The upwardly-mobile society hasn't got the kind of interpersonal structures where your friends would try to make sure their single-friends could meet each other socially, say... at a dinner party, and so today's singles have to BUILD THEIR OWN support structures / community. That's probably why we meet people on-line, and find we have so little in common with most of them... we're not meeting in ways where people that know us can pre-screen both parties, and by doing so improve our chances of hitting it off / having chemistry.

I told my friend that I'm "on sabbatical from relationships". I've been spending the past couple of years alone re-discovering myself, my dreams, aspirations, and goals for my independent life, and making the opportunities (not waiting for them) to 'grab the brass ring'. Now I'm at a point where I feel comfortable that I could share with someone who is like-minded, and enjoying THEIR independent life. So we can be independent... together? Hmmmm... sounds about right.

I've been reading "Conscious Dating" - this book (full text is on-line on Google books) and "No More Mr. Nice Guy" should be required reading for people dating in the 21st century. The bus commute is down to a routine now, and I'm spending more time in the city in the evenings, rather than rushing straight home to let the dog out. She doesn't seem to mind.

The workouts aren't paying off with weight loss as I had hoped - but I have trimmed down a belt-notch, and have greater stamina. I'm looking forward to joining a dance class in late July... tonight, it's "12 Angry Men" from Netflix, and a night of scratching Kayla on the couch. Last night's Mariner's game was a disappointment... I left just after Ken Griffey's solo homer, thinking the game was completely lost - and it was - but the 9th inning was exciting from the 9-7 score (I left when it was 9-to-2!).

June 16:

Everyday I Write the Book... the song sums it up. Why am I still writing to you? Because I won't settle - I'm going to keep searching, making friends along the way, until I find 'the one'. Okay, okay... It sounds RIDICULOUS - but I'm still hopeful.

We Come to Barry Manilow... Not to Praise Him. My nephew is getting married next month, and wedding crashing sounds like a lot of fun! Okay, so there *IS* an invitation... somewhere. But surely they don't expect me in B'Ham... IN JULY! When Lake Washington is at its swimmingest best? (swimming-est? ) So the work outs are in hopes of meeting a bridesmaid... or even 30-to-40-something older sister of a bridesmaid/groomsman. But I AM NOT one of those guys who goes to family reunions... to pick up women. Oh, I've MET them... and that is SO 'not me'. Not in the slightest.

Will my college friends be in town, or will they be in Alaska via Seattle on a cruise ship? THAT's one thing I would never do - a Singles Cruise. Anyone who's ever been to a beach resort, or lived on an island knows the old refrain: 'If you didn't bring it with you, you won't find it here'. And going on a cruise on a DATE... especially a first date... sounds like a particularly bad idea. There you are - on a boat - in the middle of the wonderful water. But if there's no chemistry, it's more an island than a boat. No, I haven't been there... but I've heard. Last time I was on a sailboat - it was a small one - and we couldn't get back to shore quickly enough. But the water was GREAT! There's something about the sun, the smell of suntan oil, sun and the eyes of a beautiful woman.

June 15:

I had my sons over this weekend - and it was great hanging out with them, and getting some much needed lawn work done. They're really into the SIMS video games, a game I actually like.

Last night, had dinner with some friends at Ohana in Belltown just before their "Ohana Idol" karaoke contest finals got underway.

If there are 3 main kinds of 'dating', what kind of dating are YOU here for: for relationship practice, to find 'a soul mate', or Dating for Mating? I would have to say 'For relationship practice' is a large part of it - I want to meet new, and different people, and build some new relationships. But I'd be lying if I didn't admit there's also a sexual element to dating - i.e. dating for mating. But, again, I'm not the polyamorous type - I would never cheat. I didn't cheat for over 17 years of marriage, even though there were opportunities. But at the same time, I respect the privacy of my partner - I'm not into 'control' - more into mutual discovery.

I love myself, and hope to find someone who loves herself. If you can't love yourself, how can you expect someone else to love you? This one took a lot of introspection. I'm in no way a narcissist - and in my 'previous life' I was never 'worthy'. But I find that life is too short to be selling myself short all the time. I'm okay. And I like myself. Does that blind me to faults? Hmmmm.... maybe... (your unbiased feedback on this appreciated - if you've read any of this blah, blah, blog... what do YOU think?).

June 9:

Okay, so I've got better things to do than to continue to update on a daily basis. But, hey... at least I uploaded a new photo. And that reminds me: I need a haircut.

Bought a new Roomba the other day, and it seems to have a bad battery - guess it will have to go back. Too bad - I was looking forward to having something to vacuum the house every day while I'm at work. My dog is relieved - I call her the 'Alpha Bee-yotch' of the house - and she doesn't trust the Roomba. But if she didn't leave hair all over the place, I wouldn't need the vacuum robot in the first place.

The workouts at the new office are going well. Now working on more definition, and trying to remember that one rule... ABOUT THAT! Hey!! That's right - I've been meaning to give away 'The Secret', and thumb my nose at those horrible photo-ads, and animated banners.

I know THE SECRET of the 'One Rule' to a flatter stomach: Lose weight, and body fat. Fat tends to collect in the belly for many people, and there is NO WAY to get rid of fat in one region without working on overall weight loss. But I *suspect* the "rule" those Google ads are talking about is... just what my Mom tried to tell me: "Suck In Your Gut". Yes. Keep your abs tight, focusing on trying to tighten your abs below the belt, and if you can focus on that, you will eventually build up your ab muscles even if you're sitting at a desk all day.

DAY 38 - cont.

I don't want to forget the Furry 5K Run and Walk at Seward Park today - a couple of thousand people, and their pets, walking and running 3.6miles to support the Seattle Animal Shelter. It was fantastic! I saw lots of interesting, fit, active women (and men), and more women... with their pets.

I was struck by the interactions of a couple of guys with their significant others... my advice to them would be: "Grow A Pair, Guys!" Damn... the guys I saw sounded like they were "one of the girls", trying so hard to please, that they didn't have an opinion, and didn't want to make a decision for fear of offending someone (or making their opinions known). And I found that pretty offensive, and I'm sure the women they were with weren't too happy with them either. Guys... you are NEVER going to be a woman's girlfriend. That doesn't mean you have a to be a chauvinist, macho asshole - it simply means you should be comfortable with your manhood, and own the fact that you have a brain, and aren't afraid to use it. I would even go so far as to propose that women would like you BETTER if you were to 'man up', and grow a spine, as well as a set of balls.

Only, if you're in a marriage, and you come to this realization... it would be wise to let your spouse know you've discovered your 'nards', else she may be driven off - unable to deal with a real man. For both men and women - don't let ANYONE walk all over you. It is NOT okay - regardless of the sex of the 'walker'. I stopped being walked on, but in the process ended my marriage... so be aware, and straight forward about what you're doing lest you drive your spouse away.

DAY 38:

WOW! That got a reaction... I cross posted yesterday's critique of the Russian film "Admiral", which was mostly a critique of "The Admiral Theater" in West Seattle as a 1950's era movie house badly in need of some upgrades (see the Cinerama as an example of what can be done). I realized that post was mostly a post about the movie, so I cross-posted it to the SIFF.net website 'user reviews'... and that's where I got the following response:

“That's part of the charm! Don't you have anything more important to complain about? The Admiral is a jewel and many people worked hard to insure that it would not be torn down to build a sleek, sterile, air-conditioned boring box. Next time go to the mall!”

Let's take that point by point. No, it's important for the SIFF staff to hear that the Admiral is a "pit" of a theater. I agree, The Admiral is a jewel, but would be better served by upgrading the interior - restoring it something like it's former glory (think "Cinerama"). If indeed it was 'saved' from being torn down, isn't it time to follow through, and restore it? I'd love to be a catalyst to get THAT conversation moving.

It could be described as being distracted from the amazing special effects of WWI battleships, and expansive battle scenes, intermixed with scenes showing the lavish lifestyle of the upper caste during a very interesting period in Russian history. Instead of focusing on the movie, I was thinking about how I could shift my ass so that my legs wouldn't go to sleep, and how much better this would sound even in a Dolby 5:1 sound system - like at home - although the 40-foot screen can't be beat... I wondered "how close would one have to sit to the 32-inch LCD to get the same effect?"

DAY 37:

I've been focusing on work, and on baseball playoffs (yes, they continued all week). I'm getting accustomed to my new commute, and it has taken some adjustments to get the timing right so I get to work on-time. As for meeting new people, I'm back to attending activities from the MeetupDotCom Seattle Singles group.

Last night, I attended a Russian language film world premiere "The Admiral" at West Seattle's venerable Admiral theater. All I can say is the film was visually stunning, and melodramatic, but the venue was HORRIBLE. It's been at least 20 years since I sat for 2 hours in a vintage 1950's theater with no visible upgrades. In places, the thread-bare velvet curtains are missing, and unpainted cinder-block walls peek out. The almost flat floor, and in-line seats (c. 1950) were perhaps built for 1950's teenagers who were more interested in foreplay than actually WATCHING the movie. It was particularly frustrating trying to read the English subtitles - I found myself shifting my head from side-to-side to read past the head of the viewer DIRECTLY in front of me - and because subtitles are generally at the BOTTOM of the screen... I couldn't help but notice there were a couple of feet of unused space ABOVE the reflective screen. Those few feet would have made all the difference in reading the subtitles. No air conditioning. How long has it been since I've sat in a theater where the temperature rose throughout the film? Never that I can remember. Last night was memorable - mostly in a bad way. Oh, the film was good, but I'm sure the overall effect, and the ability to "lose oneself in the story" were undermined by the poor venue. It may be an acceptable venue for something like the Rocky Horror Picture Show, but a world premiere international film? I don't think so.

Today, the laundry is moving around it's vortex of cleanliness, and the lawn is being gently watered naturally. Guess mowing will have to wait until tomorrow...

Kayla and I are signed up for the Seattle Furry 5K fun-run and walk Sunday at Seward park. I'll be in Orange, holding Kayla's purple bungie-leash (she's a black lab). If you're there, please introduce yourself, and help support Seattle's animal shelters.