Aug 26:

Well, it's 90+ degrees, and 90% humidity here in the sunshine state. Mickey and all his friends are doing very well - and it's not quite as crowded as I expected thanks to an early school start for sunshine state residents. I might have to upload a photo or two from the trip... my travel companions are all great photographers.

Sunday night's discussion on 'Creating Community' for single people more interested in bettering themselves than trying to hunt-down-someone-to-complete-them... went very well. Almost everyone there got the idea, and everyone respected the boundaries. There was one guy there who was serious about online dating, and had gone as far as to create a 'dating card' - a business card for his 'dating business' - it's better than handing out a business card so the operator at his place of work doesn't have to deal with calls regarding his love life. Instead, it said something like "John Doe - Really Great Guy Seeks Really Great Woman" (my words, not his) along with a red heart, his phone number, and email address. On the back was a paraphrased version of his online profile. Very nice... but I'm not sure I want to pursue that track at this time. I'm not *THAT SERIOUS* about dating. Having a 'dating business card' makes it seem too serious - like a business... and I want the act of meeting new people, exploring interests together, etc to be a LOT more fun than could possibly be had at even the tiniest 'business'.

Aug 21:

Wow! Has it really been 3 days since the last post? A full and interesting few days - let me tell you. First, my email to Dr. Robert Glover regarding a problem I spotted on his website generated not only a response, but a request for help with his website. A little research, and a few emails, and hopefully his website is less vulnerable today.

Second, I got a call out-of-the-blue from a long-lost favorite cousin - she lives on the Isle of Jersey, so I haven't had much contact with her. But this week I found she's planned a family vacation in the same spot I'm visiting soon... and at the SAME TIME!! So we'll be able to catch up... share pictures... break bread, and share some laughs. It should be fun - I'm really looking forward to seeing her again, and meeting her husband of 15 years, and their 5-1/2 year old son (and I *promise* not to ask him about his "Ark"). ;?>

Finally, the national existing home sales numbers are out, and they're UP as predicted. That plus the federal 'first time home buyer rebate' sunsetting in November are all driving agents to look at my house!!! Very cool. We're holding another open house Sunday, so here's hoping that elusive BUYER will walk through the door this weekend, and make an offer.

Sunday evening, Singles Connection is meeting on Mercer Island to discuss 'Building Community' for singles in the Seattle area - there are many, many 'yes' RSVP's so far, and it's shaping up to be a lively discussion. Can't wait! TTFN

Aug 18:

What makes the perfect date? Hmmm... a hard question. I think being with 'the right person' is about 90% of the recipe. Add in a restaurant with 'atmosphere', or funky decor, food, a glass of 'accessible' wine, and a sunny late-summer evening. Add to that some walking, and watching the sunset reflect off buildings in downtown, sitting in the grass talking about your hopes for the future, and I think you've just about got it. Stir. Enjoy. Repeat.

Aug 17:

After posting on the blog last night, I composed an email to the organizer of one of the Saturday events. But she appears to be dating someone, so no coffee/lunch date for me - 2nd rejection of the day - only 1 more to go! (yes, it's a goal - one fewer "no" on the way to another "Yes"!) ;?>

I had been debating on buying a 'cruiser' bike to replace my largely unused mountain bike. This weekend I decided to try a hybrid idea of putting a set of cruiser handlebars on the mountain bike. So I ordered those from Amazon last night for Tuesday delivery. We'll see.

On the home-front, there were no showings this weekend. My current Realtor has better advertising... verbage/wording/spew/blah-blah... on the brochure than the previous Realtor. But they have no ads on Craigslist. I was thinking of cross-posting their stuff there as another online sales brochure.

Aug 16:

A busy weekend - Friday night, I totally screwed up the location of the St. Mark's wine tasting - and missed it. But I was squeezing it in during an all-night web deployment at my 'work-gig'... it was just as well, as the deployment didn't quite go as planned, and after 12 hours, we deployed, but 1/3 was pulled back, and will have to be sorted out on Monday.

Saturday morning, I only got up just in time to drive to Bellevue to volunteer at the packet pickup tables for the Danskin Triathlon. 5000 women preparing for a 3K run, 1/2mile swim, and 12 mile bike ride... but I didn't get the impression many of them were interested in men at all. But the organizer of the event - even though her body language indicated she was there with another volunteer - really left an impression on me. She's someone I would really like to know more about, and I don't care if she's seeing another guy - who knows... maybe she's only involved with him because she's more afraid to break it off than to continue with an satisfying relationship. No one wants to be totally alone, and sometimes people get trapped by the idea that it's preferable to be in a so-so relationship-thing [where at least you're getting 'some' of what you want/need] than to be with no relationship at all - unsure from who the next hug, or positive feedback is going to come. (is that a dangling preposition... I know, I know... sorry).

Today's Lynnwood barbecue was an interesting time. My goal was to get three (3x) 'rejections', and I only ended up getting 2 - and those not straight-up 'rejections', but more a definite 'lack of interest' from the other person, or from me - although the goal wasn't really to measure 'interest', that ended up being an unconscious part of the interactions. And 3 phone numbers to follow-up with. One person I'm sure could be at least a one-night-stand, but that's not really what I'm interested in, so I'll have to email her with a 'sorry, no'. I'm not the type of person to take someone's phone number without meaning to call them. If I take a number, I will call - if only to set up another in-person meeting over coffee/lunch/dinner - so don't give me your number if you don't want me to call. ;?>

Aug 13:

Busy week... yow! Two house showings, and prepping for a website deployment this weekend. Having my house ultra-clean, and keeping it that way is having a revitalizing effect on me. I'm really enjoying having it clean. Add to that the daily workout routine - not because I enjoy it, but 'because I *have* to' - and the result is I'm in a place of new energy, physical surroundings, and optimism. And it's having positive impacts on my introductions to new people - women in particular. Yes, I'm still making opportunities to talk to new people every day. And I've taken on a few new challenges:

Challenge 1:
Go on at least 4 dates in the next 4 weeks.

Challenge 2:
Approach, and get REJECTED by at least 5 women in the next week. With rejection as the goal, there is no fear, and no long term repercussions related to being rejected. And from the first few attempts, I think the boldness with with I'm approaching women is fending off rejection. Oh, I've had a couple of conversations where I didn't see much chemistry, or interest, but out-right rejections... maybe I'll have to get a bit more outrageous to get those.

Yes, (as I had to explain last night...) this *IS* a Science Experiment.

Aug 10:

How do I follow up the heavy reading of "The Myth of Male Power"? By reading Terry Pratchett's "Equal Rites", naturally... That, and I've spent an inordinate amount of time today thinking about the crimes and misdemeanors perpetrated by that truant, scoundrel, and overall miscreant: Ferris Beuller. (see link)

I REALLY have to get myself a retro "Save Ferris" shirt.

This afternoon, there was a showing of the house... and it started to rain. Is change coming? I hope so! Books - got a notice that 'Boundaries in Dating' is due, so I speed-read it at a reading table in the library while waiting for the house showing to finish. Then, I went to the 646.77 section (Dewey decimal system, anyone?) to look for other books on dating, and found one by the founder of eHarmony: "Date... Or Soul Mate?". Both these books have a mindset problem from my perspective - they both assume the premise that people are dating with ONLY ONE GOAL in mind: To Get MARRIED.

As of today, I just can't see myself getting married again... I can NOT AFFORD (financially) to give up half of my net worth again, so I can't see taking that chance again. I'm interested in long-term dating, and maybe eventually co-habitating... I think I'm 'married out'... but... I've also learned to "never say Never"...

David Steele's "Conscious Dating" focuses on becoming a better person; understanding yourself better, and thereby being better able to gauge compatibility between you and a potential friend / lover / soul-mate.

My "wingman" said something that really stuck with me the other day - something I've known about myself for a long time, but it was good to hear someone else say it. She said:
"You're a great guy - smart, funny, and a fun to be with.
When I see you around women, it's clear they really like you."

If only the Right Woman - my Really Great Woman - would make herself known... I'm doing what I can to make sure I make contact with that really great woman. But she's got to meet me half-way, and acknowledge she's there, available, and ready for a great guy.

Aug 9:

The birthday party was a success - rambunctious for the all-boy pool party, and annoying for the adults. I'm looking forward to a day with more exercise - thinking of visiting the sculpture park, or the dog park, and maybe even dropping in on the evening paddle in Kenmore (if time allows). Having seen Saul & company haul empty kayaks across the lake and back LAST week, I suspect they'll have some no shows. And perhaps I could help pull an empty kayak, although I won't be able to stay for the barbecue afterward.

I've spent some time reviewing the profiles on OkCupid, and PlentyOfFish. It strikes me that no one really knows what to say in their 'profile' - it's good to know I'm not alone in that. It also strikes me that most of the women there *think* they're looking for a Stage I relationship (i.e. looking for a 'provider', or 'hunter-gatherer'), when I'm *assuming* Stage I - shelter, food and something approaching 'stability' - and am searching for something deeper for any potential new relationship. Fun, travel/day-trips/adventure, and a physical relationship... Yes: Sex - I'm determined to have sex again (at least once - preferably >10,000 times). How long will *this* dry-spell last? (I wonder how many other people are independently asking the exact same question?)

Aug 8:

Happy 13th Birthday, Son!! The party begins at noon with a get-together at the house, then carting the boys to the community pool - should be fun!

I found Warren Farrell's website on 'The Myth of Male Power', and read through the 'Cliff's Notes' version of the book. I read enough to know the rest of the book's energy focuses on the negatives of being male, and that's not the energy I need. I could get the main thrust of his book (which must have been the first time it had been communicated in 1995) - that the women's movement has bent so far to protecting women that it's adversely affecting men, blah, blah, blah - hey, I've lived most of that, already gave up half my net worth, etc, etc. - so I loaned the book out to a co-worker. ;?P

Unhooked is next on the reading agenda... or maybe another Terry Pratchett novel. Scott Simon's red socks are calling... more later, maybe?

Aug 7:

First Thursday was well attended - thanks in part to the mild weather. MANY art loving men, women and children made their way to the museums last night, and I was right there. The Wyeth paintings selected for this show were very stark, and in some ways sad. Helga was clearly ruling the roost as she gazed out of her portraits. In one painting, she virtually 'floated' on a cloud of black velvet, and in another, she stood stoically in the snow while Wyeth slowly painted. It was interesting that the one painting of his wife was of her sleeping, and that he didn't feel the painting was complete until he had painted in a hat covering her face. Compared with Helga's dominant stare... the contrast spoke volumes about his love life at the time those paintings were made.

I'm reading through "The Myth of Male Power", and finding it very interesting. Especially the discussion of Stage I and Stage II love: 'How successful men freed women (but forgot to free themselves)'. "Essentially, women's liberation and the male midlife crisis were the same search - for personal fulfillment, common values, mutual respect, and love. But while women's liberation was thought of as promoting identity, the male midlife crisis was thought of as an identity crisis." Wow! Well said.

He goes on to list a table of Goals for both - 'Stage I - survival focused' and 'Stage II - self-fulfillment focused'. The Stage II goals are as follows:
MARRIAGE: Fulfillment, Soul mates "whole" persons married to create synergy, Commonality of roles, Both sexes raise children; both sexes raise money, Children a choice, Childbirth ideally risk-free; war ideally eliminated, Til Unhappiness Do We Stay Together (as opposed to 'Til Death Do Us Part' for Stage I), Either party can end contract, Sexes equally responsible for self and their partner, Both sexes balance needs of family with needs of self, Love emanates from choice, Love more conditional (no verbal or physical abuse; expectations of mutual respect, common values...).
CHOICE OF PARTNERS: Parental influence is secondary, Neither sex expected to provide more than half the income.
PREMARITAL CONDITIONS: Neither sex deprived more than the other (as opposed to Stage I: 'Men deprived of female sex and beauty until they supply security').

Aug 6:

The market opens hot, and cools, in tune with Seattle's weather. With a high of 69, and a low in the 50's, today is turning out to be a pleasant, if unseasonably mild summer day. The market is following the temperature - it was UP early, but has cooled. C'est la vie.

Tonight, I'm planning to go to SAM to attend the Andrew Wyeth 'Remembrance' retrospective. It includes his most famous painting of Helga - one that I've seen once before, when it was at an exhibition at the Smithsonian in the 1980's, but it was really amazing enough to see again. His realist style of painting shows ever hair out-of-place on Helga's head, the ridges in her sweater... everything but skin blemishes.

Aug 5:

A Call For COMMENTS! If you're reading (even infrequently), please leave a comment. Negative, positive... anything is better than the sound of wind whistling through the zeros and ones...

Yesterday, spent some time on OkCupid, and PlentyOfFish browsing profiles - saw some interesting people... but they never write back. I know, I know... TMI again. If that's it, then I guess it's for the best. One thing about OkCupid that I don't really like is that if you want to 'save' a profile of someone you'd like to email later, you have to 'save' it, and it asks if you want to send them a message to let them know they were 'saved'. It's okay by me, but everyone is so busy, it's hard to get BACK to those profiles, and email. I'm sending around 2-3 unsolicited emails a week, and getting no response. There's no way to track whether they've read *here*, except for the 'COMMENTS'... [Have *you* ever left a comment here? Why not?]

Also yesterday, pix of the house were taken, and now it's on the MLS! This time I'm feeling something different 'in-the-air' - some... something... in the housing market... call it an urgency... an opportunity... I don't know... maybe a perceived last chance for new buyers to get into a house before the 'market' climbs out-of-reach. July Seattle sales/pending sales figures are in, and they're up 20% over last year. My house is the 2nd cheapest 3br/1bath house in Arbor Heights, and the cheapest one is isolated, boxy, and not that much cheaper than mine. (sending 'buy mine' energy out there...)

Tonight, was the first open house - two visitors showed up -on a weeknight! (not bad) Meanwhile, I browsed a rental house on Mercer Island. It's in my price range, but VERY small. 3br/1bath not far from the park & ride with a 1 car garage, and what looks like an outside washer/dryer (only the dryer was there). I know, I know... can't really think about moving into something else until I've sold the current house. I'm just checking out "what's out there", and there's nothing I could afford to buy in the areas I'm interested in.

Also went to look at buying a new bicycle. I was interested in the CostCo "Schwinn men's cruiser", but think I may be able to get a better deal elsewhere. Tomorrow night is first Thursday - Seattle museum's are FREE. I think I'll check out the Andrew Wyeth exhibit at SAM downtown. "Helga" is on display - a series of paintings he did in secret that were disclosed in the 1980's, and were a 'sensation' in the art world. The 'signature' Helga painting is there, and I'd really like to see it up close and in person.

Aug 3:

This wing-man/wing-woman thing is going well. Joy convinced me to go to a kayaking meetup, which by the time it happened, I was excited about. And the activity was GREAT! On the water, sunset over Lake Washington, watching Kenmore Air planes land; kayak self-rescue training; and the women were (mostly) single/unattached, fit, and interesting. Joy didn't do as well as I did, I'm afraid - she had little interest in any of the guys.

But I met someone who I didn't get much of a chance to get to know - I thought she was there with someone else, but was mistaken - but I would DEFINITELY buy a used car from her.

Then there was Joy's 'French friend'... she gave the best laugh of the night when she described her native suburb of Paris as, "not quite Bellevue - further south... more like... Tukwila."

Was it funny because I'm familiar with Tukwila / Southcenter, or because of the 'k' sound? She's got a sense of humor, great timing, and enjoys the outdoors. All traits I like.

Tonight, I've scurried around to make the house look presentable for signing papers. Tomorrow night is photo-op night. MLS, here I come... I'm going to give it exactly two months - if it hasn't sold by the end of September, I'll stick it out here through the winter, and try again next year. But something tells me the housing market right now is "not too hot", and "not too cold". Wish me luck.

Aug 2:

Boxes mostly packed... only the laundry room left. As an 'NPR Junkie', I'm having withdrawals this morning, because I haven't switched on to hear LeAnne Hanson - but I'll make up for that in the car on my way to Mercer Island. Yes, the Blue Angels...

Yesterday's performance of Shakespeare's "King John" at Lincoln Park was excellent. It turns out I know the actor playing King John - worked with him both acting in a play at the 'Mae West Fest', and recorded sound for him on a film project he directed last summer. Both yesterday's meeting, and the 'sound-guy-gig' were surprises. Yesterday he was the one surprised - he didn't recognize me without the goatee and mustache.

This afternoon's kayaking and barbecue (from Seattle Singles(?) Meetup group) is sounding more and more relaxing - I can't wait to get out on the water. I think once the move is complete, I'll have to consider getting another small boat - a Maxim, or SeaDoo 15-19'. It's just too hard to be this close to all that water during summer's like this without being out ON the water in some way. I guess I could get by with swimming, but it's hard to swim out to watch the SeaFair airshow with all that boat traffic ;?>

Aug. 1:

Today I'm packing boxes, getting the house ready to put BACK on the market... don't worry - it's a GOOD thing - and waiting for the 3pm "King John" show at Lincoln Park. The day started with packing boxes, then wielding power tools to attack the 'evil hedge monster'. Me 1, Hedge 0. Extension cord? Well, the tape looks like it'll hold things together...

I hear the Blue Angels... must be Sea Fair... Woo Hoo! Get out there, and enjoy the sun!

And I owe at least a nice dinner to Joy for her help packing and cleaning. I'm afraid to go into my kitchen... afraid I'll mess it up - it's that clean. Clean enough for 'For Sale' photos...