Mr Available Buys a House

Well, absence (distance) might make the heart grow fonder for existing relationships, but for new relationships it's a killer.  I got the "I'm not into the beans and rice lifestyle" from Rapunzel - hey it's not about 'beans & rice'... it's about Living Below Your Means so you can save for Financial Independence.  Some call it ERE (Extreme Early Retirement).  Some call it FIRE (Financial Independence leading to Early Retirement).  All while LIVING - enjoying life - and experiencing happiness.  You can't BUY happiness... it's a state of mind, but saving, and doing what you want to do, enjoying the outdoors, etc.... sounds like happiness to me. ;-)

It's all the same idea:  work hard for 5-10 years saving more than 50% of your take home, so you can get off the wage-hamster-wheel if you want, living off the dividends/growth of your savings (your 'FU stache') and withdrawals from things like 5-year Roth-IRA conversions (convert a portion of your rollover IRA to a Roth IRA, and in 5 years  you can withdraw that 'conversion' amount tax free, and it won't count toward taxable income).  All strategies to decrease taxable income, save pre-tax dollars toward early retirement, and have the freedom to do-what-I-want:  Travel, do things with my sons, collect the National Parks, grow vegetables... whatever!

A funny thing happened a few weeks ago...
My realtor called - a great guy who I've worked with on selling homes, and searching for new homes.  I had been doing a lot of research on my credit score, along with all this work on FIRE, and had come to the conclusion that I won't be eligible for a loan for another 4 years (thank you 2011 short-sale) and am therefore doing just fine renting for the next 4 years during which time I'll reach my FIRE date.  I told my realtor about all this, and said thanks, but I don't think I'll need him for at least another 4 years.  He thanked me and moved on.  A few days later, I decided to casually check my 'target area' to see if any homes were available that might make either good home-bases, or rental houses, and found a house that looked... interesting.  After researching, I knew I had to see it!  The irony wasn't lost when I called my realtor back, and asked "How can I find out for sure whether or not I could get approved for a home mortgage?"  One thing led to another, and by weeks end I had made an offer 5% below the asking price on the house in question.

Ironically, the seller ACCEPTED!  So I knew I'd bid too high.  Hopefully the home inspection would pick up some things...

It did - $25K worth of repairs needed - some so the house would appraise for the offer price.  Haggling ensued, because at this point we're "negotiating", and because of the late-date with winter onset looming, the seller accepted our amended offer $39K below original list price.

Awaiting appraisal... and pondering:  Is buying a home a 'sucker play', or will the mortgage tax benefit, freedom to grill, freedom to dig holes & grow things in my own yard outweigh the extra expense of taxes & utilities currently covered by rent?

Weird Science - Homemade Laundry Detergent

Last weekend's meeting with "Rapunzel" went well. Marlene's must have been visited by Merlin, because there seemed to be some... magic... in the air. I'll try to reconnect this weekend after the high school football game, and Saturday mid-day's NCAA matchup at Beltown Pub.

On the Financial Independence front, the cell phone is all sorted out - no iPhone 6 for THIS mustachian. One of the more interesting posts I found on the MrMoneyMustache.com website was the following recipe for making your own effective, yet non-allergenic laundry detergent.

Here are the ingredients you’ll need to pick up:
1. Borax ($3.38 at Walmart –in the laundry aisle)
2. Arm and Hammer Super Washing Soda (NOT Baking Soda–$3.24 at Walmart)
3. Fels-Naptha Soap Bar ($.97 at Walmart)
4. 5-gallon bucket with lid
5. OPTIONAL: Essential Oil Drops for fragrance (we did not add this, so I am not sure how much it costs)
Grand Total: $7.59 for 640 loads (180 loads in a top-loading machine). That’s a little more than 1 cent a load! And the savings are even greater the next time you make this because the only thing you’ll have to buy is the Fels-Naptha soap bar!
1. Grate the entire bar of the Fels-Naptha soap.
2. Put in a pot with 4 cups of hot water. Stir continuously over medium-low heat until all of the soap flakes have dissolved and melted (about 10 minutes). It should be slightly foamy with no “chunks” or flakes to be found.
3. Fill a 5-gallon bucket half-full of hot water.
4. Pour in the soap mixture. Add 1 cup of Arm and Hammer Washing Soda and 1 cup Borax. Stir. My husband happened to have a paint stirrer that goes on his drill, so that helped. But if you don’t have one of these, just use the end of your mop (or something that can reach to the bottom of the 5-gallon bucket).
5. Fill the rest of the 5-gallon bucket with water until it is full. Stir again.
6. Cover and let it sit overnight.
7. When you open the top up the next day, it should have gelled and thickened. Stir again.
8. Use a funnel to pour the mixture in a used/clean laundry detergent container only HALF full. Fill the rest of the way with water and shake.
Once you’re ready to use the laundry soap, shake it in the container first. Then add:
-5/8 cups for a regular top-loading machine
-1/4 cup for a front-loading (HE) machine
I HIGHLY recommend getting a paint stirrer to put on your drill…trust me. I don’t even use an old detergent bottle, I just leave mine in the five gallon bucket and I have a quart sized rubbermaid bottle w/ my detergent at the wash. I have very sensitive skin, and therefore have to use a free and clear style laundry soap if I buy it, but this stuff doesn’t bother me a bit. Bonus points, it really gets clothes clean. It even gets my husband’s car clothes clean, and that’s saying a lot.

To predict the questions: 1) No, I haven't DONE this yet, but I'm planning to pick up the ingredients soon. 2) WHY would I WANT to do this? To quote Doc Brown, "It's a SCIENCE Experiment!" (Great Scott!) Seriously... Doctor Bronner's Magic Soap (peppermint) is some of the best laundry detergent I've ever used, and the recipe for the soap (above) sounds enough like a Dr. Bronner's soap that I want to try it. I'll have enough laundry soap to last for years. 3) You say you want to try some? Let's chat once I've tried it.

The rice cooker is on slow-cook mode with a new vegan 'Boston Baked Beans' (NOT the candied peanuts) recipe as a way to cook 2 pounds of the 25 pound bag of pinto beans. And I had no idea molasses is used in cooking boston baked beans.

Let down your noodle

On OKStupid, my old profile was viewed by someone who seemed like a mustachian - health conscious, debt free, DIY homeowner (Go "This Old House!"), and with a sense of humor. Her profile was told in a fairy tale style - mostly taken from the story of the girl who was locked in an ivory tower, and lowered her lengthy golden locks to access Prince Charming... and she also swims 20 daily laps in the 'moat', home schools her young one, and has BFF time with Cinderella, and the other fairytale gals.

Forsooth! I replied post haste, and talked about eating mostly vegan, mustachianism, and how I thought the distance was large, but the chance of meeting was great. I followed up with this P.S.: "It's good to find another person who believes in dragons, good men, and other fantasy creatures. ;-)

Evidently that worked - after a phone conversation, we're trying to work out a face-to-face in the coming days. More soon...

Freedom Friends = more free data!

Okay, I'm going to have to get a 2nd FreedomPop device and account for myself for in-the-car use (Google Maps, Wikipedia searches, etc. in those rare times when I'm between wifi at home and work). Why? Primarily because of our PITIFUL data consumption so far this month. In 1 week, my son and I have used a total of 5Mb - - - out of our 500Mb monthly allotment of FREE DATA! BUT... my son has 'our' device in his backpack at school 90% of the time, so it's unavailable for my personal use.

After calling Customer Care, and having them REMOVE the "Premium Service" that was so kindly added - for a monthly fee of $8/month, I could roll-over any unused FREE DATA balance to the next month. Not a bad deal... but that is *NOT* why I'm using FreedomPop. And while I was automatically enrolled in the 'Premium' service when signing up for FreedomPop service, I was forced to CALL IN to customer service to have the 'Premium' services removed. Did I mention you have to watch these 'free' things? Oh, they're "free", but you have to watch them. Log in at least once a month, etc...

But WAIT, there's MORE!!!
FreedomPop has a program called "Freedom Friends" where you can add 'friends' (who ALREADY use FreedomPop) to your 'friends list', and for each 'friend' added, you get an addition 10Mb-per-month of free data above-and-beyond the original free 500Mb! A quick web search found several places with lists of FreedomPop users who are ready and willing to become your 'friend', because... those users ALSO get an additional 10Mb per month! To date, our FreedomPop account has 1000Mb of free data... AND... I have a list of names I'm going to submit next month in case some of the current users stop using FreedomPop.

Where did I "find" these 'friends'? Two main sources: 1) SlickDeals.net, 2) a FaceBook page (that I'm NOT using, but others may choose to use it), 3) this forum post with 329+ friends listed.

YMMV - but from my perspective, SFSG!!

FreedomPop and Airvoice

Over the weekend, we received the FreedomPop wifi hotspot. In signing up for the service, they make it so you have to sign up for a 'premium' - an additional monthly 500Mb above the original 'free' 500Mb. It states it's on a trial basis, and that you have to call support to withdraw from the 'premium'. I'll be calling soon.

Meanwhile, my 3 phone numbers have all been ported to Airvoice, and that's going well. I'm down to $5.88 remaining in my original $10 allotment for Sept. Son1 and Son3 are both plugging away with their $10 plans. Son1 is upset - thinks he may have missed a job offer call while he was working at his current job. I told him to call them back, and ask.

On the dating front, went out on two (2x!) first-dates this weekend from the FIRE Weirdness profile.
The first seemed doomed to failure before it began...
Notable quote1: (on the phone BEFORE meeting)
"Oh, you sound taller on the phone."
Notable quote2: (upon meeting)
"You look just like your pictures!"
I don't know WHAT to do with the first quote. It was just strange. As for the second, I *SO* wanted to quip: "Am I supposed to look like someone else?"
Conversation that killed any future dating prospects:
Q: "So, you can see from my profile that I'm debt free, how about you? Do you have credit card debt?"
A: (rolling eyes, and entire body) "Oh, LOADS! I'm an artist"

Oh well... The second first-date was more promising - she looked GREAT - her pictures truly didn't do her justice. She looked like a cross between Debra Harry (Blondie) and Marilyn Monroe. Conversation went well, and we even moved from drinks to dinner. But she slowly detached, and when the check came, her $15 drinks (two of them) did not bode well as someone with a mustachian 'value' mindset. Hell, $30 is 3 weeks drinking budget for me! (but I took it out of the 'travel' budget)

Today... got a 'ping' from an attractive user on my OLD OKCupid account, and she seems like a great fit for the FIRE Weirdness profile, so I sent a nice message saying, "check out my other profile FIRE Weirdness as well, and let me know". Her profile made reference to her being locked in a castle tower, and wanting a prince to ride in, and carry her away. I sent a 2nd message saying... "P.S: it's good to find someone else who believes in dragons, good men, and other fantasy creatures." :-)

Airvoice Wireless - results 3

I've been with Airvoice since Friday, and after many calls and texts over the long Labor Day weekend, I have a $7.00 balance in my plan to last the rest of the month. Data costs are indeed 6.6¢/Megabyte, and so far I've used 0 Mb. Lots of talk minutes @ 4¢/minute, and several texts @ 2¢/text message.

I've renewed the $2.99/month Skype calling plan membership - I use Skype for most of the daily 'conference call' communications, and so far this seems like a great deal. It's amazing how easy it was to wean off cellular data once I realized I can save over $100/month by choosing a pay-as-you-go plan.

Back to School clothes shopping at Value Village set me back $42 for 14 pieces - 11 shirts, and 3 pairs of pants - including some new work "office-drone" outfits for me. Today's outfit cost $8.

Tonight, school supplies for Son3...

FIRE Weirdness

FIRE: Financial Independence, Retire Early Weirdness:

“We’re all a little weird. And life is a little weird. And when we find someone whose weirdness is compatible with ours, we join up with them and fall into mutually satisfying weirdness—and call it love—true love.” ― Robert Fulghum, True Love

During the summer, I became a follower of the MrMoneyMustache blog. He's a Canadian who lives in Colorado, and 'retired' at age 30 to focus on doing the things HE wanted to do rather than chase the almighty dollar for the rest of his life. He blogged about his thought process, tips and tricks for saving and investing, and his philosophy to living life to enjoy LIFE NOW, letting his dollars be the workers, and earn returns in the stock market and investments, and not to hope for some magical retirement at age 60+ by which age he'd be too tired and worn out to enjoy his leisure time.

In short, it sounded right up my alley.

So now I'm focusing on becoming FI again (10 years after the dot-com bubble, and Microsoft stock meltdown took away my first 'stache).

I was reading on the Mustachian Forums, and found the "Single and Mustachian" section very interesting. I read some of the things people were saying there, copied the best thoughts people were having about their own struggle with on-line dating, and re-wrote some of those thoughts (along with some of my own) into a new separate dating profile which I called "FIRE_Weirdness". And here's the resulting new profile:

"Mustashian on my 2nd run at Financial Independence - goal: 3.5 years

I know I won't change who I am for another person, but part of love is the willingness to explore, and find the common ground we can romp through together, maybe even kicking some leaves around from time to time. We may value different things, but as long as we can collaborate on things we can agree on for 'mutual mischief', we'll probably be okay.

Thriftshop is more than a Macklemore song - it's a wardrobe, and decorating source. And Craigslist is my 'storage unit'. Travel means wanting to collect the National Parks, whether that's from a tent (air mattress - no cold hard ground for this guy) or old VW bus. Shoestring budget when possible, but will pay for value. $500 monthly travel/entertainment budget - let's go places! Rice & beans are my 'go to' - the disastrous environmental impact of factory meat farming, and the disastrous health effects of animal fat on my heart arteries has made me a 'mostly vegan' for the past few years... never felt healthier.

Deal breakers: addiction (smoking, alcohol, gambling, drugs), jesus freaks, and "angry" women.

There is no algorithm for love. If there is, it's something we write for ourselves - not the robots at OKC or PlentyOfFish, or Match, Tinder, etc.

Well adjusted weirdo looking for same - for someone whose weirdness is compatible / complementary with my weirdness, and we can combine those weirdnesses into a whole new level of weirdness, and call it love.

I've changed over time. We all change over time. Sometimes a lot. You will change too. It's more important to find someone I can change, take chances, dance lessons, etc, and GROW WITH than someone who is an exact match to the person I am today. It took me a couple years (ok, more than a couple) to get to where I am today, and I'm not finished yet.

Wanna come along for the ride, and see & do new stuff along the way?"

If there are *any* responses, I'm sure they'll be from people who have their financial act together, and have a similar mindset relative to savings and early retirement (that's the hope anyway). Not much to say so far... the first email response was a scam/phishing attempt... I mean REALLY... does a 50+ year old guy think a 25 year old female with "pictures on another site" is a potential match? If she's not within ~10 years of my age, forget it. I have a son who'll be 25 before I know it.

Back to school shopping

Today I went to the Goodwill Outlet store - also called the 'pound' store because everything is sold by-the-pound. Customers pick through waist high rolling bins of material: clothing, books, toys, linens and bedding all mixed together. When you find something you like, you take it to the checkout, they weigh it, and you pay by-the-pound. Today's haul: 4 shirts (2 for me, 2 for Son3) Total: $4.89.

After the pound-store, I went to my favorite Value Village on Capital Hill where the selection is very good. On the front door, I noticed a sign that said:
"Labor Day - Sept. 1st - All clothing, furniture (etc) 50% off marked prices".
So I looked around, found a couple of shirts that looked interesting, and a pair of pants or two. I was all ready to carry them down to the checkout... but eventually put them back on the rack. Tomorrow at 10am I'll go back and try to find those items - if possible I'll even take son3 with me - it's so hard to do any real back-to-school shopping without the student in-tow.

Speaking of son3, his phone was in a state of limbo for while - we received the unlock code from T-Mobile, but he wasn't around sit still long enough to follow the instructions in the 'unlock steps' email. Once I got my hands on the phone, I backed it up, swaped to the new SIM, and now we're both on Airvoice. It was a really simple process.

And back to the original purpose of this blog - the oxymoron "on-line dating" - a new profile was born: FIRE_Weirdness.

More discussion of FIRE_Weirdness, and how that came to be in a later post.

Airvoice Wireless results - Day 2

Yesterday's switch to Airvoice was seamless and painless for my phone because my iPhone was not 'carrier locked'. Son3's phone was still locked by our previous carrier, and after a call to their customer support to get it unlocked, I'm waiting for an email with instructions (it's supposed to be in my inbox within 72 hours).

Son3's phone has been a bit tricky. TIP: before you do this, back up ALL your smartphones (not just yours).

Airvoice's customer service has been phenomenal to deal with - for a $10/month cell plan company, I was a little surprised... but the folks on the phone really know their stuff.

I've sent only two (2x) text messages via SMS, and after each, the phone shows me a popup that shows me my remaining balance from the $10 plan. Same for phone calls - had 1 call to T-Mobile customer service about my sons locked phone, and another to my son. Remaining balance after initial setup calls/texts: $9.44

I purchased the FreedomPop Photon hotspot device from eBay for under $30 - it should be here any day. There were also FreedomPop Platinum Photon 4G hotspots for sale for only a little more. From what I've read from other users, the FreedomPop service *IS FREE*, BUT... you have to put up with their attempts to get you to upgrade to a paid service.

But for half-a-gigabyte of FREE CELLULAR DATA each month, I can put up with the attempts (and fend them off).

After making all these monthly service changes in August, I re-ran my Financial Independence spreadsheet, and see the monthly budget is not only lower, but it means I'll have enough in my FU 'stache' to be FI in only 3 years (2 years sooner than planned)!

Now I'm looking into the IRA to Roth-IRA conversion ladder plan - annually convert some amount of my rollover IRA into my tax-advantaged Roth-IRA each year (paying any tax on the IRA earnings during the conversion). In 5 years, the amount of that converted capital can be withdrawn from the Roth-IRA (BEFORE I turn 59-1/2) with no penalty, and no tax. If I do this for the next few years, I'll be able to withdraw my living expenses from the Roth before turning 59-1/2, then after 59-1/2 withdraw normally from both the Roth and standard IRA accounts.

Today: Sounders match in the light rain. Call time 10:30am... Go Sounders!!

FIRE Weirdness

Work, playing musical gigs, successful investment moves, finding ways to save $$, and socking away as much as possible from the full summer months have kept me really busy. None of the people I met in March returned my emails... assuming that's a bad thing. Recently I emailed someone who I really REALLY hope replies - she seems like a really good match. Up to AND INCLUDING the quote about "Weirdness" attributed (incorrectly) to Dr. Suess (actually Robert Fulghum) that really speaks to me:

We’re all a little weird. And life is a little weird. And when we find someone whose weirdness is compatible with ours, we join up with them and fall into mutually satisfying weirdness—and call it love—true love.

And I didn't discover that quote in her profile until AFTER I messaged... but it's been several days. She could be on vacation, but that would be someone else's luck. Right?

Luck to me is when preparation meets opportunity - or with investments, putting my money on business's I know / understand, or believe are game changers. I'm invested in Medical Marijuana for that reason - as well as Facebook (smart company that treats their employees like partners), Google (smart phones - will rule the smart phone space, and they also treat their employees like partners), and Twitter (okay, I don't understand their 'business model', but I see so many interesting Tweets... and tweets are the frontline in the news of things that really matter: world events, etc). But I'm still putting the BULK of my assets in: VTI - the Vanguard Total Stock Market ETF. (More on that in another post)

Comcast changed my bill amount this summer, so I called to see if I could move back to 'internet only' from their 'bundled temporary pricing'. When the changes were all more expensive than the original $69 internet only I'd signed up for in 2010 with NO increase in service level, I pulled the plug, returned their unused standard definition "cable-tv-box", and signed up for CenturyLink DSL for $39/month. (and my new wireless network is called "Suck_This,Comcast!") Savings: $46/month - $552/year.

Cellular service: In July, I did an experiment where I turned OFF 'cellular data' for my iPhone, and used mostly wifi - at home, and at work... 90+% of my usage. I found I really only turn on cellular data when I *need* it, and that's usually in the car for Google maps. July data usage: Son1-1Gb. Son3-2.Gb. Me-44Mb. Total bill (unlimited talk/text and 3G data): $124/month

Experimental switch #1: I'm moving to Airvoice Wireless and their 250 Minute plan: $10/month 250 talk minutes or 500 texts.

The plan is the hardest to find on Airvoice's website, but I've heard good things about (prices as of 8/28/2014 - as with anything, check their website for the latest rates):

For Son1 - he will pay for HIS OWN ACCOUNT, again with Airvoice. I paid for his SIM, and explained the 'how-to-use-your-device'. He said (paraphrased)

'I got by with NO data for years. I'm sure I can get by with only using data at home and wherever there's wifi.' [what a great son, right?!]

For Son3 - he's a real data hog, and that will be hard to fight, but I think he's on board. I'm buying a cell-phone-sized FreedomPop wifi-hotspot that includes 500Mb free monthly data (provided by Clearwire/Sprint).

For me - the above Airvoice plan, data only at home and work, plus 'emergency' cellular data usage in the car. I *might* get another FreedomPop hotspot for myself if it works out for Son3. Estimated costs: $350 - $300 to pay off Son3's iPhone, $29.98 for the FreedomPop Spot Photon 4G wireless hotspot. Estimated savings: $94/month - $1128/year(!). That's estimating $15/month for Son3 and I (at above rates) $30/month total vs $124/month today.

So not only did I pay off my upcoming November trip 'back east', and ALL credit card debt, but was also able to sock away more than $3800 in savings this month, AND I set the ground work to save an additional $140/month in recurring costs!

Playing in a rockin' SKA band. Spending $500/month travelling. Bike commuting to work 3x/week. Not a bad way to spend the summer!

In a world, where dating is On the Line...

Has it really been a YEAR since I posted anything here? WOW - time flies. An active life, interesting work, and spending more time with my sons has made blogging seem less and less important. But lately I've been thinking about the one-that-got-away (or the-one-I-got-away-from).

In a world of on-line dating... sounds like a film trailer. Honestly, on-line dating STILL seems like the greatest oxymoron of all ["on-line"=sitting in your underwear staring at glowing rectangles, and "dating"=meeting a prospective partner over drinks or lunch - the only thing they have in common is underwear! i.e. wearing underwear is a good idea in both cases].

One of my best friend's got married this past summer, and commented that he knew I would meet someone eventually, if I would only be open to it. He said, "You're one of the funniest stable guys I know. You'd be quite a catch for any woman". But... if that's true, why am I still unattached!?

Oh well, 2014 has been a good year so far. After committing to picking up the pace on contacting women via OK-Stupid, things are looking up. I met 6 (six!) new women in the month of March - 2 I'm setting up 2nd dates, and the other 4 seem like interesting women I could be friends with.

After thinking about it, I tried to pin down why the other 4 weren't people I wanted to date:

1. No chemistry - just no 'spark'.
2. Pictures were 5 years old, and no longer accurate.
3. Not over the breakup of her marriage - there was a lot of "personal space" work beyond my ability to help with.
4. 1 "coffee-date". Seriously? If someone is worth meeting in person, they're worth spending enough time to break bread with. Coffee-dates are one of those unspoken dating hazards. As for me... I'd rather do lunch.

I changed my dating profile to read (in part):
"Great guy with sense of humor, killer body, and money to burn, seeks woman who doesn't believe everything she reads".
So far, it's a great conversation starter. It gets the idea across that I'm not too caught up in myself, can be a smart-ass, and in the end it makes people want to read more.

I've also been doing a lot of thinking about the 6 month relationship I had in 2011-12 with someone I'll call Tami. more soon...

Mr. Available!

Back after 2+ years... And a LOT has happened. I've been EXTREMELY BUSY with living, and haven't had time to navel-gaze into a blog. But yesterday, sitting alone in a sea of strangers at Seattle's "Folklife" festival, the light of a new blog dawned... [plus I need a way to get the first-3-throwaway-pages out of the way so I can work on my script with warmed-up fingers] ;-)

And thinking about the amount of LIFE I've packed into the past two years... was boggling. The house 'short-sale', the 1st apartment since my 20's, a "management consulting" job that's way cooler than I had ever thought possible. It's been 2 years of working hard, and happily - some of that from home! I'm still playing in a rockin' band every week from February thru November. I reworked my on-line dating profile mid-2011, and actually MET SOMEONE at the end of that year, and surprisingly not only dated her, but agreed to become ENGAGED - a place where THIS man would "never" go again... [only to have that door slammed in my face before vows could be exchanged (thankfully) - a topic for another day, no doubt]
But... it was a good experience, and I learned a lot about myself, the world we live in, and that there is at least one woman who was into me, and I into her - so there's hope... (am I hopeless, or what!) that there might be ANOTHER someone who's even more awesome.

The screenwriter's conference & pitchfest in London last October - successfully pitching a sit-com that had been written 2 years before as a feature motion picture script, meeting new colleagues & friends on the other side of the Atlantic - was the icing on the cake... a wink at validation... and the creative highpoint in a frenetically eventful year. But now, I have to FOLLOW-THROUGH on that commitment, and deliver a series treatment, a pilot, and 1 episode script. Yikes!!

So I'm sitting in the beer garden at Folklife, happy I'm not a Monsanto GMO, and realizing I need to *be* somewhere else. I checked Meetup.com, and found a dancing 'mega party' in Kirkland later that evening. It was then that I came up with my nametag for the evening:

So... here we go again

On Shrove Tuesday/Mardi Gras and Ash Wednesday...

Remember: YOU are BUTT DUST!

Every Ash Wednesday, I've heard this phrase uttered from Episcopal priests from the deep south, to California, to right here in the armpit of the Puget Sound:

"Remember you are BUT DUST, and to dust you shall return".

And it always leaves me thinking... what *IS* BUTT DUST anyway?

Is it anything like J&J baby powder?

And do they mix these elusive dry cherubic derriere particles with ashes of burned Palm Sunday palms before the service?

I haven't asked the Bish (Greg) about this, but I always remind my local prayer-book-toting padre - usually on Mardi Gras Tuesday (currently Hunt Priest)...

"You, sir are Butt Dust!" ;?>

(have a thoughtful Lent)

Old and stupid, or what?

So have I forgotten how burned I got by being married? What the hell is wrong with me? My current thinking is, "I did pretty well as a husband and father, and if it wasn't for the 'significant others' substance abuse problem I might still be married today." So why am I thinking that I might actually be open to MARRIAGE in this day and age when the marriage deck is so stacked against men?

No one is going to walk all over me financially, emotionally, and physically again. I will still never strike a woman, but I will no longer stick around and put up with being battered physically (and/or verbally/mentally).

My state almost invariably grants child custody to the mother regardless of the issues involved. They also almost invariably ask the father to pay alimony & child support to the mother even if the mother's income is greater than the man's. I've joked in the past (not too laughingly) that if I find myself liking someone, I should just break down, buy them a house, and give them half my worldly possessions.

So there are a lot of things going on for me now - turning 50 at the end of this year isn't primary, but it's something 'lurking' in the shadow of my mind; not having gone on a date for over a year is pretty daunting. Am I just too damned picky, or what? The only women I find remotely interesting seem to have no interest in me whatsoever. I haven't kissed a woman since... well, okay a week ago at a 'friend' dinner, and it was a friendly kiss, but a man wandering in the desert will take whatever he can get. Before that... it was at least 7 months. Yet being a 'good kisser' is one of those 'must haves' in a relationship. Being part of a rock n roll Brass Band... no, there are no groupies... or if there are, they're not the types you'd want to take home AT ALL (much less to 'mother').

Whoops... there I go again: Relationship. I'm thinking about RELATIONSHIPS. And find myself open to the "M" word mostly because I'm thinking to myself that my loud and frequent protesting about "M" being so negative to the psyche and well being of men has created a negative back-lash... or a non-lash if you will. A realization that... just perhaps... women are only interested in dating men if there is still that merest chance - that SPARK of the possibility of marriage, and a 'happily-ever-after' at the end of the road. Sophomoric, I know. Naive, and saccharine sweet... I know.

But there it is. And from casual 'trial ballooning' of this idea, I find that it's true. The kind of mature, intelligent, attractive, fun, curious, woman who is interested in sex (and not likely to say, "You're not still wanting to have sex, are you? At our age? Are you?") and who - to the contrary - would never be caught 'acting her age'... this elusive woman still wants the slightest chance of a hint of a whisper of a possibility of a 'white-wedding', and a happily ever after.

OMG! Okay. I give up. I take it back when I loudly proclaimed: NEVER AGAIN.

i'm open to the idea again

How Obama Saved Capitalism and Lost the Midterms

I read an interesting article today, and started to compose a reponse to the article I'd read here:
http://opinionator.blogs.nytimes.com/2010/11/02/how-obama-saved-capitalism-and-lost-the-midterms/

There are a couple of other interesting articles I'd read, that had my mind thinking:
http://techcrunch.com/2010/08/28/silicon-valley%E2%80%99s-dark-secret-it%E2%80%99s-all-about-age/

And a script I've been working on about a guy outsourcing HIMSELF (off-shoring himself to India). That script is now back on the front burner because I had a visceral reaction to some of the characters in "Monsoon Wedding" - particularly the Indian who had a great high tech job in Houston, and was planning to go back there right after the wedding. [not mentioning that there's some Computer Science major in Houston who is out of work because of him - he probably does similar work to what I do, gets paid 1/3 the amount, and loves it - but puts me out of that job because he's willing to work for less $$ - but don't get me started...]

Many of you know I'm an 'economic determinist' - I firmly believe that history can be most clearly viewed through the lens of "Those who have the strongest economy win the day, and will write the history books". Think US Civil War / War Between the States (or as my grandmother said, "The Wa'wuh of Nawth'un Aggre'shin"). In the late 20th Century, the US wrote the history books. In the 2000's to date) the Chinese and Hindi's will write the history books unless we as a nation address our four (4x) toughest problems: 1) Jobs, 2) Jobs, 3) jobs, 4) jobs. Health care? Education? Housing / the home-ownership American Dream? The Economy? All important - but all underly problems 1-4. If you have a tenuous job (or have NO job), or are in an industry like mine where you have to change companies every few years to advance, you worry about where your health care is going to come from both a) long-term, and b) in the 'between positions' / interim time periods. Scariest thing I've seen lately? The California jobs fair room where they asked the 2000 people in the room (looking for work) how many of them had PhD's (a few hands), how many had Masters (several dozen more MBA hands), and bachelor degrees (and all 2000 people had hands-in-the-air).

Back to the original story (top link - above) I read the story, and started to 'reply' but the reply was > 500 characters, or words, or something, and wasn't being accepted. Too long - as usual. So, I saved it in my 'notepad', and pasted it here:

"Sorry to say, but in 2000 I voted for "W". I paid for that mistake by losing a substantial fortune in the ensuing economic debacle(s). It made me stop, take a long hard look at the two political parties, and realize that as an 'economic determinist', the Democrats were better on the economy than Republicans. To me, this was a huge shock - i reasoned "since the GOP is so rich-centric, surely they must do everything they can to help the rich get richer by making the capitalist US economy run more efficiently." But my research proved otherwise.
Nixon/Ford/Bush/W=recession. Kennedy/Johnson/CLINTON=prosperity/boom. Even Carter navigated the country out of high interest rates into prosperity (that Reagan took credit for), and lost the 1980 election because of 21% mortgages, and the Iran hostage crisis. Reagan out-spent the USSR, and bankrupted them, but created huge debt for US. "W" sent us into 2 'off-budget' wars, and bailed out his wall street buddies - and Obama gets the bailout-blame. And the guys on wall street think they're making profits now because they're smart(!) (not because the taxpayers saved their asses, and kept their entire industry from going under!?!) Talk about Wall Street hubris!"

I was thinking about the mid-terms - and trying to explain how the Democrats get economics better than Republicans. Now I have to find my copy of that book - the best thing I've ever read on the subject, the chapter "Talking Points at a Republican Barbeque" in "We're Right, They're Wrong" by James Carville. It was written about the 'Contract On America', but holds true today - moreso after the Bush administration left the country's economy a burned out mess. It's as if they looted and pilaged their way through the country's budget surplusses, Social Security trust fund, etc, ran off to play in Dick Cheney's bomb shelter/basement, and burned everything behind them.

Needless to say - this had to be said by someone... who better than someone. Who better to say it than someone who no one reads - the mid-life bachelor who's beyond his 'date-by' date.

Making Your Voice Heard... it helps if you *speak*

This morning I *SPOKE* on the morning bus. It's mentionable, because in the past 3 years, I've uttered approximately 10 words on the morning bus. So what was different today? The guy who got me involved in Sound Wave was on the bus, so we chatted the entire way to the office. When we 'deplaned', a fellow passenger commented, "You speak very well - I see you every day, yet I've never heard your voice."

On the bus home in the evening, I often speak to people - one person even recognized my voice from something (Short Flix, a radio voice-over... who knows) and asked if I'd ever recorded audio books. Although it's something I would *LOVE* to do, and have both the natural talent, and persistence to bring off believable performances (the various 'parts' of a book 'script'), I've never known how to land that FIRST GIG as an audio book voice-over reader.

If you have a book, and want a great reader to bring it to life, drop me a line - I'd love to be involved. And I'll work cheap!

Goodbye Cruel Dating World...

I thought a lot about yesterday's post, and I'd rather NOT dwell on that topic. If women want to like, or dislike men... C'est la vie. It has nothing to do with me personally. I'm not the reason why anyone - even my ex-wife - should dislike men. I don't want to dwell in the dark nether-regions of relationships. Instead, I'd rather get out there and enjoy life.

It was quite a journey over the past year - blogging for the first time, and seriously trying online dating, then giving up on on-line dating, and dating as a mid-life bachelor in general. I'm no longer worried about it - I'm Happy with Myself, and *I* can put up with myself - but to expect to find someone else who could put up with me (besides my sons - because they're polite boys - and my dog - she's the 'alpha bitch' in my house) seems a pointless search. Sometimes even *I* can't put up with me. But I do catch myself, and make serious attempts to stop those behaviors I don't like in myself.

I refined what I would be looking for in a woman / partner / friend... *IF* I were still looking... and realized the likelihood of an finding an unmarried straight woman who's in good physical shape, like's men, and isn't embittered by the challenges of life as a mid-life-singleton in this, the second decade of the 21st Century... is nil. And I accept it. The Death of Singledom is real, and I've gone through all the Kübler-Ross stages of grief - Denial, Anger, Bargaining, Depression, and Acceptance.

Some apologies: Chris, I'm sorry I couldn't listen to your advise to grit and bear my broken marriage - I could no longer live as the focus of such irrational anger. I don't blame you for having more sympathy for my ex than for me: I was never open with anyone regarding what I was going through. And you were right: I got little more than my clothes, and big debts in exchange for my so-called 'freedom'. Joy, I'm sorry I could not continue to be your 'wingman'. I'm not sorry that I'm not the guy you're looking for, but I am hopeful you're able to more explicitly describe what that elusive male would look like, and that he exists. Best of luck.

Goodbye childish romantic delusions. Goodbye sex. Goodbye frustration at dealing with people who haven't been able to deal with their anger and frustrations at an imperfect world. Goodbye "M.Average" - not Mr. 'Always Right', and Not Mr. 'Always Wrong', more 'Mr Right just the Right Amount of the time' - no one wants a descent former Eagle Scout, over trusting guy. Women want scoundrels, and villains, and you're neither Mr. Not-Always-Wrong-Nor-Always-Right.

Hello Sunshine, and hello spring. Hello to Music. Hello to writing that's far less indulgent than blogging. Hello to finishing script projects. Hello to a renewed emphasis on film making. Hello to staying toned, fit, and trim by exercising - cycling more on the Christmas 'raffle prize bike', hello(?) to the Century Ballroom for lessons? hmmmm... Hello renewed energy, and sense of humor at the strangeness of this strange experience we call life.

Mostly, hearty greetings, and hello to that elusive woman who I hoped to have met by now. I'm sorry that the timing was all wrong. So to you, my young woman friend of whatever age, I say Hello.... and Goodbye.

Why do SO MANY women ... Hate Men?

Misandry - a word used so infrequently, that spell checkers highlight it as a misspelling, yet "misogyny" - the opposite of misandry - shows up just fine. Yet my personal experience over the past several months show there has been a shift in the relationships of men and women... and I assert there is far more misandry in the world than misogyny.

Misandry: (mĭ-sān'drē) n. Hatred of men. [1946, from miso- "hatred" + andros "of man, male human being" (see anthropo-). Related: Misandrist.]

I can understand that many women have been in abusive relationships with men - physically or mentally abusive. I've experienced the rejection many women at middle-age receive from men - is this the result of misplaced self loathing caused by unrealistic expectations of physical fitness, and body types based on 'popular culture' and the media?

Are men to blame for this? (I can hear women saying, "Damned right!") But blaming men as a race for the strange biases portrayed in the media is like saying "all dogs are bad because a Pitt bull in South Seattle killed an elderly woman in 2009". Not everyone can look like that young girl on the cover of 'Shape' magazine - and not all men WANT someone who looks like that young girl on the cover of 'Shape' - the 'girl', and the desire for that girl (in my mind) both shout of immaturity.

The Catholic Church (big "C" there, as in 'Roman Catholic') and more recent organizations like The Mars Hill "Church" hold to a theological view of "Complementarianism" - holding that "God has created men and women equal in their essential dignity and human personhood, but different and complementary in function with male headship in the home and in the Church." Perhaps it's this viewpoint that's the root cause of all the problems between the sexes... with women always in a secondary role as supporters to the patriarchal - male - leaders. I'm no expert in this area, but I strongly suspect this is the case. And I (for one) don't want to be in a relationship with someone who will always play second banana to me. Oh, I will probably fall back into the 'making the universe over with her at the center' trap I tend to fall into, but old habits die hard, I'm sorry to say...

The Other catholic (i.e. worldwide) Church in America (The Episcopal Church) holds the theological view of "Egalitarianism". Put briefly, egalitarianism holds that "all people are equal before God and in Christ. All have equal responsibility to use their gifts and obey their calling to the glory of God. God freely calls believers to roles and ministries without regard to class, gender, or race." Women are not second banana here - women take on as much of, and as strong a role as they want to take on. This is what I Believe.

Yet there is a growing men's movement that compares a marriage to riding in a car - pointing out there's only one steering wheel - or to a television set, 'there is only one remote control'. In my own experience, I've shared the driving responsibilities, and don't clutch the remote like a caveman, but change the channel, and leave 'the clicker' on the coffee table. It's true... I have been 'the primary bread winner', but I'm not against having an income that's less than a partners - that wouldn't somehow emasculate me to be in a relationship where the woman brought in a bigger salary than me. More disposable income! (woot!) Au contraire - that would be a blessing.

So, yes... I at least admit the inkling of a possibility that from my limited perspective as a mid-life bachelor that without a Magic 8-Ball, appearances point to more misandry than misogyny in the world. But I *will* go on record as saying it's not my fault. I do not hate women. If anything, I love women too much - and there's the irony of being a woman loving middle-aged bachelor in a world steeped in misandry.

Want examples? Example 1: in the movie "Wedding Crashers", there's a scene where Vince Vaughn wakes up to find himself duct-taped to a bed, with his nymphomaniac girlfriend straddling him. It was an uncomfortable scene, yet played as *COMEDY*... rape... as comedy. HORRIBLE!! Yet, if the roles had been reversed, the movie going public would have screamed about, RAILED AGAINST, protested, disclaimed, repudiated and in general REJECTED these filmed actions. But with a woman as rapist, that is somehow seen as okay? And even 'funny'?!?

Example 2: the movie "Enchanted" - there, the male characters are belittled, and emasculated as the female characters literally grab the sword, and do battle with the evil dragon (this time a woman on woman fight rather than the more traditional fairytale male hero vs. the viscous male dragon who has the mixed up sexual identity, and desires human females... is it because all the female dragons have been slain?)

We live in a strange age where men and women seemingly can't even get along - much less meet for dating, mating, or even spending some time together for mutual enjoyment. But admittedly, I'm not looking in the right places... after all, you never find what you're looking for until you look in the last place you would expect [because once you've FOUND something, you stop looking.]

We would ALL do well to "put down The Hate", and "pick up The Love".

Fat Tuesday and.... Pancakes???

I still don't get it. It's an Episcopal tradition - I realize that, but I still don't get it. Where I grew up, we had Mardi Gras - floats with masked revelers throwing moon pies, beads, doubloons, and candy, followed by marching bands, and maskers on horseback. My hometown had Mardi Gras in 1704 - before New Orleans was even founded - and late winter / early spring was a great time for all.

And in the south, you were either Baptist, or Catholic - there were no other choices... so I was something else, naturally. But one thing we did NOT do was pancakes. Pancakes are good for about 10 minutes after cooking. After that, they're a greasy chewy mess, and the batter doesn't store well. So when the 'pancake supper' is finished, what's left to donate to the local shelter/soup-kitchen?

That's why in the home of the Mardi Gras - the Mother Of The Mystics - we always had Fat Tuesday Jambalaya. A hearty seafood gumbo with rice and andouille sausage (spicy) and beans - the leftovers from this would warm the heart of even the most cynical street denizen. So while we have 'pancakes' here in the NW, I always make a point of distributing beads, and shaking my head silently as the night progresses.

The next day? Ash Wednesday. Remember: YOU are "Butt Dust".
(Happy Belated Mardi Gras!)

SoundWave

Several weeks ago, I applied for an audition spot for the Sounders FC's pep-band "SoundWave". My audition was set for 10am today - but I had a previous commitment on Hood Canal at a retreat for church leaders. Saturday, at the conference, I asked my friend Jack to help me transpose "Mona Lisa" (Nat King Cole) from treble to bass clef as the 'solo' portion of my tryout, but made a point of not actually playing the resulting sheet of music until the morning of the tryout. I left the conference early (last night) so I'd be in town fresh, and ready to play.

This morning, I drove into my office at 9am, went up to a vacant conference room, and played through the resulting sheet for the first time. Fortunately I found a couple of glaring mistakes in my transposing, and fixed them. By 9:45 I was ready. By 10:30, I had been interviewed, did some very poor music sight reading, played the solo, and was out the door.

Tonight I got the call... my first rehearsal as a *MEMBER* of SoundWave is Saturday, 3pm!!!! Now I'm dreaming we'll play "Legend Of The One Eyed Sailor", or "Mardi Gras Mambo", and some other rockin Latin stuff. (WOOT!!!)

On Following Myself...

I noticed I'm the only one reading this... (see 'Followers' link to the RIGHT)
And people wonder why I've given up on dating.

Facebook and the Cult of glowing rectangularism

My son's got me to sign up for Facebook, and I resisted as long as I could. Now it's a constant source of new email messages "Fred did this", or "Sue did that", or "Howard discovered oil on his make believe farm, and wants you to feed his tomogochi chickens"... Eck! (pronounced like 'heck' without the 'h')

Oh, it's been nice to connect with people I haven't had any 'face time' with for several years... don't get me wrong. But it's not exactly the same as HAVING 'face time' with ANYONE. It's really just a sinister plot to keep more people staring at the glowing rectangles, or pocket sized glowing rectangular objects that can entertain, has a compass built into the stock, has this thing that tells time, and pinpoints your location on the planet to within 1.25inches... oh, and you can also make phone calls with it. ;?> The REAL Dick Tracy wrist radio... although you keep it in a pocket and it can cause repetitive thumb strain.

I've been under the weather - a winter cold - for the past few days, and between long naps watched a few movies on my list. The least impressive of these were "The Hurt Locker" (up for the Oscar this year), and "Black Orpheas". While I liked the calypso music in the latter, seeing yet another movie telling the epic story of Orpheus and Eurydice (all on the same 1001 movie list I should add) is a bit taxing.

I've been watching all the Powell and Pressburger films, and one scene in "Age of Consent" really made me ache for the warm tropical summers of my youth. Afternoon and evening thundershowers were the weather pattern in the late 1970's (but no longer) - the sky would darken around 3pm, POUR BUCKETS of warm rain for 20 minutes, then the sun would come out, and everything would be dry again within about an hour. Oh, the humidity was high... but it was a humid heat, after all.

So, why don't we do away with Facebook, and set a date to have lunch... in San Diego, or on the beach in Waikiki? THAT would be Face Time worth spending!

Project Bike - Complete

After adjustments, we took her out for a ride through the neighborhood, and to the local Target store where I picked up a Phineas and Ferb t-shirt for the proud bike restorer.

My son on his bike - nicknamed "Shreader" - and I on my Schwinn Jaguar 7-speed cruiser. We were quite the pair. But I really need to find my helmet - to set a good example, and all. Have a great week! And remember: whatever it is, YOU *CAN* DO IT. Make YOUR film. Repaint your bike. Write the story you want to read. And keep those pages coming... just a few pages a day is all it takes.

Project Bike - Almost there

All done except for sizing to the rider, and adding the rear rack.

Project Bike - During

Here are a couple of shots 'during'. 1) "The Stripper" at work. 2) A Happy Boy. 3) In the Paint Shop.

Project Bike - Before

Here's how the "Traveller" folding 5-speed bicycle looked before we started sanding, and re-painting...

Project Bike

For years, I've been looking for a replacement for my favorite bike as a kid - it turns out it was a bicycle built for Sears by Huffy, and only manufactured between 1969 and 1971 - the "Sears Screamer 1". It had 'butterfly handlebars' that curved up, then down, then over - just like in the picture. Today, these bikes are referred to as 'muscle bikes', and are in high demand. I showed my sons this bike, and saw the longing in the eyes of my 10 year old.

The next day (2 weeks ago now), we went to 'BikeWerks' - a local used bike shop - to see if they had an old Spider bike, or something even close to the Screamer. After looking at a couple of bikes, my son chose a 'folding bike' with 5 speeds that had a horrible green paint job. He said "We could paint it", and so $40 later, the project began.

The next day, I went to the downtown Home Depot, walked into the paint department, and stated: "I Need A Stripper".

Once the laughter subsided, I added that it should be environmentally friendly, and not peel the skin off my lap when I pour it on thick. ;?> CitriStripper did great work on the old paint, and Krylon spray primer was quick work as well. My son wants the bike to be painted ORANGE, but the orange at Home Depot seemed too bright to him, so we went with a color at Lowes. But once it was on-the-bike, the Valspar orange paint crinkled, and cracked, so today I'm going back to the Depot to find a can of Rustoleum Orange Gloss.

In the meantime, we replaced the old cracked 20" street tires with "urban camo" tires, and are thrilled with the result. Before putting on the tires, we used steel wool to remove spoke rust, and shine up the rims. A coat of metallic 'chrome' paint, and the wheels now look ABSOLUTELY FABULOUS!! I'm planning to spend some time on the bike this weekend, and will post 'before' and 'after' shots to show the work.

Haiti IS US

You may not realize I'm an active Episcopalian - yes... the denomination that's often in the news for having a "big tent". [all are welcome regardless of race, sex, orientation, or sociology-economic background (rich or poor, pink or purple]

This weekend I learned that the Diocese of Haiti is part of the Episcopal Church! There are 80,000 members in Haiti, and only around 20,000 in WA. Last night at our monthly meeting, we identified some outreach funds that have been languishing in a 'cash fund' (making .013% interest) and it took us about three minutes to redirect $4000 of that money to the Episcopal relief fund for Haiti. It was a great feeling, and provided another connection with our brothers and sisters in that devastated island nation.

"The Diocese of Haiti is the largest diocese in the Episcopal Church, so there are strong bonds between Episcopalians in this country and our sisters and brothers in Haiti. For updates on the ministry of the Episcopal Church in Haiti, visit this link: http://www.episcopalchurch.org/haiti.php. All of us are encouraged to support with our prayers and financial resources the work of Episcopal Relief and Development. To learn more and to donate online: http://www.er-d.org/"


- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone

Failure can be very liberating

It’s not something I do often – failure, that is – but when I do… it can be pretty spectacular!!

Now if I could turn the corner on this mid-life dating thing, and actually FAIL to fail!!

Hey, it’s possible… ;?> Yes, I’ve given up on the ‘on-line dating’ oxymoron – the "Now I’ll interview you to see whether I’d like to spend a couple of hours of face-time together doing something "paradigm that passes for modern dating.

While you’re waiting for answers to those questions, however, I’ll be at club Contour, or checking out a film I’ve been dying to see… “Up In The Air”, anyone?!?!

Ass Man...

Ass Man: a distinguished heterosexual gentleman who enjoys the sight, proximity, and touch of a woman's derriere. Not to be confused with the term used for Wal-Mart assistant managers... OR the license plate Kramer received on the series Seinfeld (meant for a proctologist).

A distinction is made between an Ass Man, and a tits and ass man. An Ass Man is a man whose favorite part of the female anatomy, to look at or play with, is the buttocks, in distinction to a tit-man or a tit(s) and ass man.

Similar in temperament to a Legs Man: A male whose primary sexual interest centers on womens' legs, sometimes in distinction to one who is interested in breasts or asses. "He's a leg man; he prefers legs to tits."

From personal observation, tits men seem extremely shallow, and manipulative - often pressuring their girlfriends to receive surgical augmentation. Leg and Ass men on the other hand are more interested in their partner's staying in good shape - often participating in the same athletic or exercise interests to maintain both good health, healthy body shape, and weight.

THAT's why I run, cycle, and kayak - not because I ENJOY avoiding traffic in the rain, but because I like the results... the physical health, and weight moderation. Green Lake, anyone?

Stacy's Ass...

I went to a going-away-party for a young actress/model friend who's moving to L.A. to seriously pursue her acting career in the entertainment industry. She started by having her current employer (Red Robin restaurants) transfer her to a store in L.A. Now she's headed down there.

My observations about her: LOADS of talent, very easy on the eye, truly friendly, sincere, and easy to get along with. Downsides: she's very religious to the point of being potentially off-putting. While this is a positive attribute when it comes to her work ethic, and her 'cleanliness' relative to drugs & alcohol, it makes her a potential victim of those who desire to control and manipulate.

I can totally predict her 'relationship future' in L.A.: meets that smarmy, yet dishonest "some guy" who gives lip service to religion to 'get inside her pants', and quickly becomes a drain on her life - financial, emotional, etc. I see these qualities in my friend's 'roaming-hands-step-father-with-a-bull-shit-opinion-on-everything', [who she's moving to L.A. to get away from - whether or not she'll admit it]. My 1-hour exposure to this step-parent convinced me (have I seen this pattern before? hmmmm...) family history is doomed to repeat itself.

But, of course, having a Mid-Life Bachelor even befriend (much less give advice to) a girl half-his age makes him an instant sexual suspect. In this case, while she indeed has the greatest derriere I've seen in a VERY long time... she's not a romantic interest. I'm probably more religious than she is, but I have other places for my life energy. Something we have in common is wanting to work on our entertainment industry careers. She's got the upper hand on me in this regard - she's taking steps to 'do something about it', while I've kept the tech-career going with the LATENT intent of 'funding my PASSION for filmmaking/acting/sound-work'. She's DOING SOMETHING, while I'm still WAITING FOR SOMETHING TO HAPPEN.

But not for long... ;?>

(more on 'Ass Men' in a future post...)

Writing Projects...

I've been taking time every day to write, or at a minimum outline, on a couple of projects. So far so good, but I've reached a point on one of them where I need to get buy-in from a collaborator, or else shelve the project for good. It's time for a 'pitch session' with that collaborator - the person for whom I'm writing the... 'Holiday Fable'.

Also, after much debate, I think it's time to also pitch the 'zombie nerds' project to my friend at Disney as an episode of his tween animated series. Rumors that his main character is based on *ME* are completely untrue (as far as I know). I may be at times optimistic, and have a 'can do attitude' (which I use to great success at work), but my COMPLETION ratio is not nearly as high as the characters on the animated series. Still... it has a VERY infectious Theme Song.

Speaking of Theme Songs, I removed the music links on the right side of the page - they had stopped being something you could play as you read (i.e. "Every Day I Write The Book"), and become a complete AD for 'buy these songs now'... bummer.

Deleted the oxy-moron accounts...

Well, I finally broke down, and deleted both my "On-line Dating" accounts - PlentyOfFish and OkCupid. A dear friend summed up my feelings on the subject very well, and I'll paraphrase it here (from the 'why are you leaving' message I left on OkCupid...

"Conscientious Mid-life dating is not well served by on-line dating websites, or by the 'dates' they lead to.

The concept of 'modern dating' promoted here (and elsewhere): "Let's spend a few hours together with the express purpose of interviewing each other for possible romantic fulfillment and mating". OMG! Unless it stops at "let's spend a few hours together," it's doomed from the beginning by pressure and judgment. Instead, people need to spend time together doing things they enjoy. Staring at glowing rectangles BY ONE'S SELF does not involve a) other people, or b) something I enjoy doing (thanks to doing it all day 'at the office')."

Meet Me in St. Louis

Okay, so I realize this film is in the "1001 Movies You Must See" list because of Garland and Minelli, and the musical numbers, and the sparkling high-contrast technicolor vividness of the 1944 film.

But...

I know, I know. Much beloved. Holiday favorite. Cameo by June Lockhart. Still... I'm going to admit it here: "It Is A Chick Flick!" Yep. Director Vincent Minelli made a loving portrait of a mild-mannered so-tamely-dysfunctional-it's-silly turn-of-the-last-century family melodrama... with musical numbers (The 'Trolley Song', "Meet Me In St. Louie", "Have Yourself A Merry Little Christmas"). But that doesn't change the fact that it's a chick flick.

At least it's a pre feminist film, so while there ARE strong female leads, and they indeed "rule the roost", they don't do it by emasculating, and belittling the male characters. (ala. "Enchanted") But from my perspective, it's as if half the movie going population are left scratching their male-patterned heads, and wondering what the "Big Deal" is.

"A Christmas Story" still stands as my favorite Christmas 'feature film', while "The Hogfather" is my favorite holiday TV movie (aka 'Terry Pratchett's The Hogfather').

Oh... and I'll have to upload photos of last weekend's "SantaCon Seattle" - 400-500 Santas on a pub crawl trying to find out who's been naughty and... well... naughty mostly.

The 4 F's of SantaCon:
1) Don't F*** with Children.
2) Don't F*** with Police.
3) Don't F*** with Security. and
4) Don't F*** with Santa.

It was A HOWL!!!

An Open Letter to Francis Ford Coppola

Tonight, while watching "Hearts of Darkness: A Filmmaker's Apocalypse" about the filming of "Apocalypse Now", I watched the laborious undertaking of the making of that monumental cinematic experience from 1979. It took me back - naturally - to the first screening of the film as seen on opening weekend... the film opens with no credits... there are scenes of a jungle encampment going up in flames... eventually, helicopters crossing paths... and a narration, "Saigon... my God, I'm still in Saigon". And so began a story where the protagonist traveled up-river to meet the antagonist (Kurtz) in a fight to the death. It was a Greek Tragedy writ large. I pondered that film for many days, trying to understand what was going on in the filmmaker's head, and it hit me... I understood the story - and it *WAS* from Greek Mythology... only not from the 'Odyssey' (or the 'Idiocy' as Mr. Coppola refers to it)... but a completely DIFFERENT tragic Greek figure.

Since that original premiere, the film's opening was changed, and over the years the film has been edited, and tweaked here and there - much like his friend George Lucas tweaked the original "Star Wars" as early as 1978 to change the sounds of 'radio chatter' during the death star battle - including the insertion of the 'French Plantation' sequence. [A sequence that should have remained on the cutting room floor - it added nothing to moving the story forward... a.k.a. "up-the-river"... IMHO]

But in watching Hearts of Darkness, it became clear to me *WHY* he kept tweaking the film: he didn't realize what he had created because he was TOO CLOSE TO THE PROJECT!! Could it be that even today - 2009 - *HE* doesn't realize the underlying mythos that brought the story together - if only subliminally - and why it resonated then, and continues to resonate with movie goers today, even though the story line seemed somewhat random, and non-linear?

It wasn't clear to me until my second viewing of the film... and during the sequence when Martin Sheen said, "My God... I'm Still in Saigon..." I GRABBED the arms of the seat, and audibly GASPED (there suddenly wasn't enough air in the theater - I'm sure to the dismay of my fellow theater goers). Captain Willard - Martin Sheen... was a modern day SISYPHUS!!! Only instead of rolling a stone forever up the mountain, he was forever caught in a time loop riding a riverboat up the river to his mortal combat confrontation with Marlon Brando - who would probably demand another million dollars from Coppola for each subsequent trip up-the-river, in the endless progression of this Moebius strip of a movie...

It was just like Pink Floyd's "The Wall" album released the same year... very faintly in the opening moments of that seminal album, a voice can be heard saying... "...re we came in?", and at the end of the 4th side of the album, in the LAST MOMENTS... the same voice can be heard faintly saying, "Isn't this whe...", and the music loops, and loops, ad infinitum. (Side 4:"Isn't this whe... re we came in?": Side 1)

But in watching "Hearts of Darkness", it occurs to me that perhaps Mr. Coppola has never made the connection... is that possible? Was he so intimately close to the material that he didn't see the over-arcing mythological tale woven within the 'Odyssey' like narrative?

Mr. Coppola, sir: it works because it is a modern day 'Tale of Sisyphus', with Captain Willard caught in the hell that is his never ending journey up-the-river that even now is being played out on DVD, and DVR players in living rooms and home theaters around the world - technologies that weren't even dreamt of in the days when the story was first captured on celluloid.

Thank you for giving us this gift of your blood, sweat, and creative tears.

- - - - - -
Confession here: just like Brando, (and I'm not speaking of the Green Beret 'Jungle Survival Guide' of Dennis Hopper here...) I've never read *The Book* (i.e. 'Heart of Darkness')

Measured days...

I read the story this week about loneliness being exacerbated by isolation - another reason why I need to move closer to the city... The phone calls from Realtors have almost stopped, but now the snail-mail has begun - look in the recycle bin for proof. Fortunately (?) the sign company hasn't come by to pick up the post - if it hangs out for a few more days, I'll move it to behind the shed, and consider using it in the spring, and put up a big 'for rent' sign on it.

Today I'm on my own, and looking forward to a Seattle Singles (Meetup.com) Holiday party downtown... should be fun. In the meantime, my day will be measured out in coffee spoons, and T.S. Eliot... no... more like Howard Hawks, Jean Cocteau, Criterion Collection, and the like.

This past week was GREAT for film - I experienced "Being John Malkovich", "Sullivan's Travels", "His Girl Friday" and "Strange Days". Oh, I had seen His Girl Friday before, but was watching to see why it was included on the list... probably because of the breakneck pace of the dialog. The McGuffin (as Hitch used to call it) was predictable (a letter of pardon from the governor carried by an innocent oaf), but the political overtones, as well as the interaction between Cary Grant as con-man/newspaper-man and Roslyn Russell as 'Hildy' ace-reporter and city-wise no-nonsense gal made the film worth the re-watch on a Saturday morning. 'Being John Malkovich' became a must-see after watching "Adaptation" by Charlie Kaufman... just as I'm watching all of Murnau's film catalog after seeing "Sunrise", so I'm tracking down all the films written by Charlie Kaufman after seeing "Adaptation"... yes, it was THAT GOOD.

So... I should probably dust off, and give the Crash Test Dummies a listen. Oh, but everything stops at 1:30 for THE college football game of the YEAR! The Alabama Crimson (Roll!!) Tide versus the swamp rats from Florida. Drown 'em TIDE!!! ;?>

Vulture, thy name is Realtor(tm)...

Smile...
Grin and bear it.
Let it go...
[exhale]
Ahhh... better.

Anyone familiar with my house saga will remember that back in 2007 when I purchased a home in West Seattle, I got it for a price that was well under market. Since then, I gutted the kitchen and bath replaced floors, cabinets, and appliances. The exterior was repainted, the hardwood floors refinished, and I listed the refurbished house for sale in the fall of 2008.

Since that time, the term 'short-sale' has entered the real estate vocabulary, and the result is that many homes on the market today are priced below the value of the current owner's home mortgage. To qualify for a short-sale, you have to a) be willing to let your credit rating suffer for 7 years, b) be behind in your mortgage payments - 60 to 90 days minimum, and c) have good health and a strong internal constitution to enable you to live day-by-day with the stress caused by (a) and (b).

Yesterday, the current listing on my home expired - and the house went OFF the market. Today, beginning at 7:31am, I began getting phone calls from Realtors who want to RE-LIST my house. The calls have been non-stop... so much so that I changed my outgoing message to ask Realtors to please hang-up, and not to call again.

Realtors really irk me... IF I were able to sell my home for the current list price, I would be able to pay off the mortgage. But add to the sale price the 7.5% in fees and Realtor commissions, and I would be faced with writing a check for $3,000 to $5,000 dollars over-and-above the sale amount (which I *DO NOT* have lying around) to cover those commissions.

My options? The holiday season is one of the weakest times of the year for home buying, so leaving the house on the market through the holidays just seems foolish. One option is to refinance. But I'm not sure the home will appraise at the value of the current mortgage. If I *could* refi, I'd be able afford the monthly payment (without dipping into dwindling savings), and that might empower me to RENT the house to tenants, and I could rent an apartment closer to my sons in Bellevue.

Yet... they persist in calling, these princes of the sales pitch, these reformed used-car salesmen who hope to thrive off commissions . If you attempt to converse with them, they won't explain why THEY didn't bring any potential BUYERS to the house over the past year, they will instead claim the previous realtor didn't *market* the house correctly, or didn't "price it in line with the market".

When 'market prices' have been driven unnaturally downward by bank owned, short-sale, and foreclosure properties, how can one price a home in-line with 'the market' without inadvertently pricing it too low, thereby leaving money on the table at closing. No. I'm going to 'hunker down', and try to wait out the decline in housing. I realize the housing market won't fully recover until the job market recovers - it's a symbiotic relationship - but I'm hopeful things will look better in the spring of 2010.

Oh, and FYI... the count is up to seven (7) Vulture calls as of 10:45am...
update... nine (9) calls by 11:13am...

(Ironic! My phone hasn't rung in two weeks, yet today I'm the carcass du jour...)

Happy Thanksgiving!

From my family, to yours [back row: Eric (son#1), Me; middle row: Noah (2nd cousin), Dylan (son#2); front row: Wyatt (son#3), Karen Cowan Clark (my cousin), Joyce (Grannie) Lee]

My meal plans? I found a restaurant open on Madison, and will be there at 2pm. Although I'm glad Joe Pritchard is still doing his annual Thanksgiving potluck for those without family in the area, it's time I let others more needy than I partake of his hospitality. Thanks Joe for opening your home again - You Rock.

Simple Gifts

This year, I'm thankful for my sons, for health, and happiness... even if I'm not exactly at my happiest at the moment. I'm thankful for having met most of my early goals in life, and hopeful that I'll meet most of my remaining goals.

I'm thankful for family - my mom, and brothers 'back East'. My nieces and nephews - both my brother's sons & daughters, and my niece-and-nephew in-laws - I'm still the father of their cousins whether they like it or not, and I appreciate each of them - they're great kids.

Thank God for the ability to start over... I'm thankful that I have a job in this time when unemployment is over 10%. I'm thankful that I could take my high-tech skills, and work for many companies in the area. I'm hopeful that the current project I'm working on will lead to many new and interesting projects on middle-tier, and handset (iPhone/Blackberry) applications [I'm following a widget called 'Swype' which I think could revolutionize the handset / tablet-PC, and would LOVE to be a part of THAT revolution's evolution].

I'm thankful for the ability to muster up a shred of optimism amidst all the problems I deal with - budget worries, struggling paycheck-to-paycheck, watching my new investment nest-egg grow, shepherding my sons' custodial accounts toward their college educations.

And I'm thankful that I'm still plugging away at that QWERTY... thing. Oh, sure... I'm staring at the glowing rectangle FAR too much - more than 8 hours a day, and that can NOT be healthy... but hey... it's a living.

I'm thankful for Kayla - my dog / daughter / girl-friend... well... she *THINKS* she's my girlfriend, and I hate to break the news to her. She's the 'alpha-bitch' (literally!) of the house, and she knows it. But she's a PRETTY GIRL... and I remind her of it every chance I get.

Memento / Our Hospitality

Last night watched the Buster Keaton silent film "Our Hospitality", followed by "Memento"... Buster Keaton is an overlooked visual genius - and some of the scenes in Our Hospitality show this - especially scenes on the river, or involving the 'mountain'. Otherwise, the plot was a bit contrived, and predictable here in this 'Hatfields vs. McCoys' hillbilly feud story.

On the other hand, Memento was one of those films that not only kept your attention, but when it was over, made you want to then see it again... in a different... way (or a different order - no spoilers here).

Made contact with my Finnish friend - good to hear that she's doing well. I knew her from her picture right away, even though it's a picture taken from a distance, and showing her from the back & side - not her face. She looks great. I wonder if she has ice tires for that bike? The last semi-contact I had with her she wasn't even involved with... an ABC sports crew was interviewing the parents of Matti Nykänen (the Flying Finn of ski jumping), and the person translating for the news crew sounded like... in fact could ONLY be... my friend's mother. Now I need to mail her the photos of her high school graduation, her family, and BOTH grand mothers. Looking at them, I just didn't have the heart to do either of the typical things: a) put them in another box for the next 25 years, or b) toss them in the trash. Nope. Too much sentimental value in these.

Phineas and Ferb Christmas Vacation

Coming to an ABC/Disney channel near you - watch for the Zac Moncrief / Dan Povenmire directed "Phineas and Ferb Christmas Vacation" special. Dr. Doofenshmirtz is trying to make "Naughty" into "The New Nice" with his 'naught-inator' device, while Phineas and Ferb attempt to turn Danville into a lighted thank you card to Santa.

Dan (a lifelong friend, and fellow high school filmmaker) directs, and produces P&F for Disney, and it's good to track his success - especially since my kids love the show.

Nov 23:

A short work week - Thursday Thanksgiving Holiday followed by 'Black Friday'. I'm on my own again this year... the boys are with their mom's family in Utah.

Watched a documentary on the 1996 Mount Everest tragedy - Scott Fisher's team members were mostly from Seattle, so it was heavily covered in the local press, and again 10 years later. This film was from PBS/Frontline by the director of the IMAX film made in the days before and after the storm that year. I've never climbed above 12,000 feet, but all that climbing / heavy-breathing makes me long to summit Mount Rainer. Just remember to keep those fingers & toes warm.

Why do we work at jobs doing things we wouldn't do if people didn't pay us? If the things we really loved - like making movies, etc - paid as well, we'd do THOSE things full-time. I guess this also answers the question "Why do employers have to PAY people?"

Nov. 20:

Wow! Synchronicity is really kicking in... today, I missed my early bus, and caught the express (7 minutes later). On that bus, glancing over from my book, I noticed someone flipping through a binder of sheet music. On a hunch, I glanced over to see if it was in bass clef or treble - and it was bass! I said, "Trombone?", and my fellow passenger said, "Baritone, actually."

I was floored... "Wow! I play Euphonium." I said, and it led to a conversation about the Sounders FC band 'SoundWave'. It's a PAID GIG (!) which for a baritone/euphonium player is a very rare thing. He said they own 6 bell front horns, but only have 4 players. Auditions are in January, so it'll be a while before I can start, but I should figure out where they play next, and either 'sit in', or at least listen.

This could be fun!

Nov 19:

Yep... twice in one day. Hasn't happened since May, but here we go. Just finished watching "The Opposite of Sex" with Lisa Kudrow and Christina Ricci; a great independent film with interesting characters, not many unpredictable plot twists, but the script, and acting made up for the predictability. Ms. Ricci played a truly reprehensible reprobate - Ms. "Trailer Trash" with a capital 'Bee' - Yotch.

Yes, I'm still working my way through the 1001 Movies list, and the next films on my watch list are 'Memento', 'United 93', 'Adaptation', and 'Live and Become'. I saw 'Chungking Express' earlier in the week, and I really don't understand why (or how) that film made the list.... Oh, sure... Mr. Quintin "I'm-a-God-among-film-makers" Tarantino liked it, and introduces the DVD, but PLEASE. Two disconnected rambling stories. No script, no plot, no likable characters. Come on! Give me characters I can care about! His introduction was almost as unbearable as the introduction to 'Spirited Away' by John Lasseter [how many drinks had HE had while filming THAT intro].

Nov. 19:

[Ansku reads the paragraph that starts with 'The Box']

I guess the last 'dating related' thing I did was the speed dating thing a couple of weeks ago... since then... nothing. Now that it's no longer a 'dating blog', I can REALLY ramble (since no one's reading anyway... heh heh).

Life got even stranger this week. First, there was the dictate (at work) that we do everything possible, and necessary to kill ourselves to make a ship date. For those of you familiar with agile software development, that goes against the whole principle - you're supposed to commit to what you can produce in a short time frame, and deploy workable software. BUT... In this case, it's more like 'waterfall' where we come up with a plan, and a ship date, and throw everything-but-the-kitchen-sink at the project until we drag our exhausted carcasses to the finish line, get a 'free day off' as special payment, and numbly stagger onward toward the next project. THAT'S what we've been asked to do.

So plans to take a week off in December, and visit relatives in the deep south are right out the window. Now instead of only losing 50 hours of vacation time at the end of the year, I'll lose over 80 hours. joy. Fortunately (?) I can carry 40 hours of paid-time-off into the next year. yay.

Today was even stranger... I left the employ of Amazon.com over 18 months ago... and I still don't understand exactly why... in any case... I got a phone call out of the blue today on my trusty cell phone - the number has been my only number since the mid 1990's, so many people have it - from an employee I hired at Amazon. She let me know that I had a box of 'stuff' that got left at Amazon, and that I should arrange to pick it up. She had no idea I now work 3 blocks away from Amazon, but I explained things, and arranged to meet her at lunch and pick it up.

The Box... it included many magazines, and science fiction collectibles - like a theatrical 'program' from the Battlestar Galactica Movie (1978), and all the Star Trek Poster Magazines from the same time period. There was also a smaller box within that contained old photographs dating from the early 1980's through to 1992 or so. These were VERY interesting to see again, as I thought they were all LOST long ago. Among the pictures were a set of photos sent to me from a very dear friend from Finland - while we were dating once upon a time... Those photos were of her family, their summer cottage on a lake, her brother holding up a large pike, her mother's mother... her... father's mother... wow... I realize that with the health, and stamina of the Finns that the grandmother's are possibly still living, but if they're NOT... these pictures could be precious keepsakes. And here they are in a 'found box'... left at 705 Fifth Ave S... over a year and a half ago.

But... how to locate her. Hmmmm... I tried for years to locate her, but with no success. And I'm not sure I really want to make contact again after all these years... with all that's gone on... marriage... PowerPoint... riches... losses... divorce... starting over... etc.

It makes me want to take a long sauna.... now THAT sounds like a great way to spend an evening!

Nov 16: Goodbye To You

With the end of summer came the dawning of another realization: I spent my entire summer putting most of my energy toward 'meeting someone'. And as a 'goal oriented person', when that didn't happen, my summer seems like a complete waste.

My youngest son turned 10 years old, and I took him to his first 'concert-like' performance (Jeff Dunham at the Tacoma Dome) as a birthday present. PowerPoint turned 20 years old sometime recently, and I didn't even notice - but I saw a link to a presentation given by David Burne (Talking Heads) featuring photos of the 'Wizards Of Menlo Park' who created PowerPoint, and found pictures of my younger self staring back at me... was I really that chubby?! Why didn't somebody SAY SOMETHING!?!

But those two events got me thinking - retrospectively - about plans, goals for myself, etc, and I realized I had not yet written and completed a SINGLE FILM PROJECT. No 'Zombie Nerds from Outer Space', or 'Outsource This', or 'Wingman', or 'Yellow Brick Shaft', or even 'Walter's Christmas Carol'. And the only thing I have to show for a couple of years of working on other peoples film projects is... well, okay... 3 or 4 completed films with my name in the credits, 3 or 4 still in some state of post-production, and 2 short films from the 48Hour Film Project. That's probably more than I expected. But of the films I've written, and am passionate about... nothing. A completed 'act 1' script (of 3 acts). Some locations picked, and key cast and crew selected, but I'm NO WHERE NEAR beginning production on anything. It looks as if I'll have to SELL 'Zombie Nerds' to get it made - and if actors like Ricky Gervais and Rainn Wilson were cast as the leads, it would be a better film than I could make on my own.

But, but, but.... no script. Instead, I've frittered my time away trying to meet someone so I can get laid. Hell - it's going on two years... I've got to face facts. This isn't a DRY SPELL, this is it. There was a sexual revolution, and I got left behind at the station. Hermitsville. Monk City. Goodbye sex. Goodbye dating. Goodbye hope at being able to meet someone. Now *I'm* one of those people who've "Given Up" on dating in today's freaky singles culture. And it's not because everyone I meet seems to be 'broken' in some major way - i.e. 'insane', or 'overly needy', or 'too much a soccer mom', or 'they come with kids' - but because I realize *I* am the one who's BROKEN.

I'm the guy with three sons - they're my priority, and my sons are NOT going to meet my woman-friend [yes, she's still hypothetical] until I've been seeing her for at least a couple of months. I'm the guy who schleps the boys back and forth to soccer games - leaving at the crack of dawn for the first one, and not getting back home until mid-afternoon. I *DESPISE* all the driving involved, but I grit my teeth, and bear it for the boys - THEY LOVE soccer. And in hindsight, soccer season isn't nearly as long as baseball season - but soccer season weather is always SO RAINY!

I'm the guy who thought marriage was supposed to be 'forever', but who couldn't 'save' it - couldn't make the other person happy, or at least keep them from being constantly 'angry at the world'. Never again.

Taking a breath... (whooooo... sssssss) out with the old.... (ssssssshhhhhhh) in with the new... (aaaaahhhhhhhhh... haaaaaaa... haaaaa... haaaa... ha.. ha.. ha ha ha). This is why I don't *DO* New Years Resolutions. I'd rather adjust life goals on the fly, and make changes as needed. Maybe a good workout will cheer me up...

[P.S. - the workout 'weigh in' was a happy event! I've only gained 3 pounds since end of summer, and after not really working out that much... woo hoo! Now to keep up the workouts through the 'ho ho holidays'... again, not because I enjoy it, but because I *need* to.]

Nov. 4:

I didn't end up attending the party for the kids - good thing, since it was just 3 teens, 4 pre-teens, and the adults were the boys' mother, and the 'swinger' couple from across the street. Glad I missed it.

Did NOT go to the election night party I was planning to attend - spent the night scratching my dog instead... we both enjoyed that. All the initiatives, and the major races are turning out the way I'd hoped - smart people in Seattle will rule the day.

Still haven't followed up with Sunny regarding the movie Zombieland. I'm over the flu, but have been in a 'funk' ever since the abortive Halloween dance, and not really wanting to face the dating scene - even if it's someone I really like - because now I'm not sure how she's going to perceive me... and it has to be a two way thing for me, or it's a no starter. Measuring the level of interest is key.

Oct 30:

It was a terrible, horrible, no good, Very Bad Week. First, I went to work on Monday, and was feeling okay, but as the day went on the scratch in my throat became more and more pronounced, and the temperature seemed cooler, and cooler, as - by 11am - my head began to throb. What was up with my arms and legs? Are they aching? And the squirrel in my stomach - when the hell was he going to get off that wheel, and stop running around, and around, squeaking, and squirming... I told my boss I should probably go home, and headed home on the bus as I shivered from chills... and I could tell it was going to be a terrible, horrible, no good, Very Bad Week.

Monday night, there were obvious signs of fever. Theraflu does nothing for me except make me sleepy, and lethargic. Tylenol seems to cut the fever, and pain, but keeping track of 4 hour intervals when you can't think straight is a tough proposition. I tried to focus on watching old movies - the ones I hadn't had time to get to at any other time. I watched Harold Lloyd, and Mae West, and W.C. Fields, and D.W. Griffith. And Murnau... WOW!!! Rhymes with Murnau!!! He died at 42, but not before making some of the greatest - albiet SILENT - films in the history of cinema. I liked Nosferatu, and really loved Sunrise, but then saw "The Last Laugh" (the last 'Man' in German), and The Docks of New York, and the Battle of San Piedro... and Day For Night, and by the time the marathon was over, I was exhausted... the end of Tuesday.

Wednesday morning... four o'clock in the morning... I found myself awake, and wondering why I was awake, until I realized the sheets were drenched... yet I didn't exactly feel... bad... any longer. I felt... was this what it felt like to feel... well? Isn't the Swine Flu supposed to last 5 days? Here, I had suffered for only 3 days - really 2-1/2 - and now... had the fever... broken?

When I woke up again, it was sometime before eight, and after toileting the dog, and making tea... it was clear... the fever was gone... chills: a cloudy memory... aches: history. I watched The Tin Drum, and The Life and Death of Colonel Blimp on Wednesday. Colonel Blimp is England's equivalent of "Gone With The Wind", and a great film by the Powell & Pressman team that also brought us "The Red Shoes" - a film brought to light by The Criterion Collection.

Thursday, was my first day back at work, and a day when the 'Big Boss' came out from headquarters to talk to the plebes. Dress code for the day: Absolutely NO JEANS. For me, this means 'wear a power suit'. The talk... Business: going well, we're making our marks, and raises and bonus goals are on-track - the same thing said at a similar pep talk exactly a year ago - and 3 months after, it was announced there would be no raises, no bonuses... (even though the goals were met THEN) So is there credibility in these announcements? Uh... None. So many eyes rolled in the room, I thought the ground was undulating.

Friday, Halloween. 'Big Boss' still in town. Dress code: (what? again?!) No annual Halloween Costumes. No Jeans. For me, this meant 'wear the Dwight Shrute suit'. Got more good work done Friday than Thursday. Friday night, Halloween Dance at Magnuson Park.

WORST THING OF THE WEEK!

Picture a sock-hop / dance at your high school... when you were new to the school. Better yet... picture going to a high school dance... at a high school you never attended. You know NO ONE. Most of them are older than you - the Dreaded BABY BOOMERS! They're shuffling to the same songs they danced to in the late 70's. (Oh, if only I'd followed up on those dance lessons!) But would it have helped? I'm not sure. Awkward - that's the word of the day. So I wandered up into the bleachers to get an overhead view of the dance / gymnasium floor.
Note to self: The Dwight Shrute suit might work as an under-the-radar Halloween costume at The Office, but Dwight is NOT the type of character one wants to exude in a Dating / Dancing situation.
Captain Jack Sparrow, or the 'tattoo armed biker' would have been better. But the pompadour rocker wig and black leather jacket were at home... 15 miles away. Awkward. This was EXACTLY why I became the D.J. at the front of the dance floor when still in High School - I couldn't stand being so... out of place. Then at least I could pick the music, and dance on my own behind the turntables. I was asked to dance by a woman dressed as a... NUN. She was in her 60's!! AWKWARD!! I said I wasn't ready. Then I was pulled out on the floor by a large chested woman with short hair, who was a very good dancer, but who's chest was so large, just putting my arm around her to dance uncomfortably intruded into her private mammary zones. AWKWARD!!!!

It was a terrible, horrible, no good, very bad night. Tomorrow night, I've been invited to a Halloween party at the home of my sons. AWKWARD!!!!! What do *I* have in common with a bunch of teenage high school students?! Where's the Sgt. Pepper Band costume when you need it? Oh... packed away with the rest of the stuff when the house was put back on the market. But I can't think about that right now... Fiddle de dee. After All: Tomorrow Is Another Day.