I thought a lot about yesterday's post, and I'd rather NOT dwell on that topic. If women want to like, or dislike men... C'est la vie. It has nothing to do with me personally. I'm not the reason why anyone - even my ex-wife - should dislike men. I don't want to dwell in the dark nether-regions of relationships. Instead, I'd rather get out there and enjoy life.
It was quite a journey over the past year - blogging for the first time, and seriously trying online dating, then giving up on on-line dating, and dating as a mid-life bachelor in general. I'm no longer worried about it - I'm Happy with Myself, and *I* can put up with myself - but to expect to find someone else who could put up with me (besides my sons - because they're polite boys - and my dog - she's the 'alpha bitch' in my house) seems a pointless search. Sometimes even *I* can't put up with me. But I do catch myself, and make serious attempts to stop those behaviors I don't like in myself.
I refined what I would be looking for in a woman / partner / friend... *IF* I were still looking... and realized the likelihood of an finding an unmarried straight woman who's in good physical shape, like's men, and isn't embittered by the challenges of life as a mid-life-singleton in this, the second decade of the 21st Century... is nil. And I accept it. The Death of Singledom is real, and I've gone through all the Kübler-Ross stages of grief - Denial, Anger, Bargaining, Depression, and Acceptance.
Some apologies: Chris, I'm sorry I couldn't listen to your advise to grit and bear my broken marriage - I could no longer live as the focus of such irrational anger. I don't blame you for having more sympathy for my ex than for me: I was never open with anyone regarding what I was going through. And you were right: I got little more than my clothes, and big debts in exchange for my so-called 'freedom'. Joy, I'm sorry I could not continue to be your 'wingman'. I'm not sorry that I'm not the guy you're looking for, but I am hopeful you're able to more explicitly describe what that elusive male would look like, and that he exists. Best of luck.
Goodbye childish romantic delusions. Goodbye sex. Goodbye frustration at dealing with people who haven't been able to deal with their anger and frustrations at an imperfect world. Goodbye "M.Average" - not Mr. 'Always Right', and Not Mr. 'Always Wrong', more 'Mr Right just the Right Amount of the time' - no one wants a descent former Eagle Scout, over trusting guy. Women want scoundrels, and villains, and you're neither Mr. Not-Always-Wrong-Nor-Always-Right.
Hello Sunshine, and hello spring. Hello to Music. Hello to writing that's far less indulgent than blogging. Hello to finishing script projects. Hello to a renewed emphasis on film making. Hello to staying toned, fit, and trim by exercising - cycling more on the Christmas 'raffle prize bike', hello(?) to the Century Ballroom for lessons? hmmmm... Hello renewed energy, and sense of humor at the strangeness of this strange experience we call life.
Mostly, hearty greetings, and hello to that elusive woman who I hoped to have met by now. I'm sorry that the timing was all wrong. So to you, my young woman friend of whatever age, I say Hello.... and Goodbye.
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